'I Met My Husband When I Was 18 and He Was 40'

When I met my husband Mark, there was definitely an instant connection. We first encountered one another on a dating app in early 2017, but quickly formed a friendship while chatting platonically on social media. At the beginning, we rarely spoke about our personal lives. Instead we spent hours at a time discussing politics, history and current affairs.

I was 18 and Mark was 40, but we never really spoke about our 22 year age gap. To this day, we don't tend to bring it up. When you have that spark with someone, why would you look for reasons not to like them?

Even before meeting Mark, I was only ever attracted to older men. As a teenager I had crushes on older celebrities and my dating app was set to find males from the ages of 28 to 54.

I never felt I was interested in the same things as my peer group. I didn't want to talk about the latest weekend plans or go to nightclubs. I wanted to find someone I could spend a quiet evening in with; drinking a glass of wine and having an in depth conversation.

Our age was never a problem for Mark either. He was never looking to meet someone younger to date, so for around nine months the two of us just chatted as friends. We never even planned to meet in person.

It was a complete coincidence when we bumped into each other in a nightclub later that year. Some of my friends told me there was a hot guy looking at me from across the room. I said: "Oh my god, it's the guy from social media!"

I got really nervous and ran to the dancefloor. The first thing he said when he approached me was: "You're so much more beautiful in real life."

Our friends mingled for a while before we decided to head to another club. We danced the night away, but my friends began going home one by one, and eventually I realized I needed to find a place to stay the night.

Mark said I could stay at his place and reassured me that his only intentions were making sure I was safe, so I agreed. When we got back he put me into his bed, handed me a glass of water and went to sleep on the sofa.

I didn't really think of Mark as a potential love interest until the next morning. When I was leaving, he asked me for a kiss. I was a little hesitant at first, but I gave him a peck on the lips. I walked out to the elevator and just felt this spark in my entire body. It felt like a movie. After that point, I was totally obsessed with him.

From then, we started dating. I would go over to his house to hang out maybe once or twice a week. We would share a bottle of wine and chat. Neither of us thought much about our ages. Everything moved so naturally on its own; we never had any intense discussions.

Our relationship developed really slowly and privately. I would say we started dating publicly in early 2019. We never had a conversation about being girlfriend and boyfriend, we were just never separated. We were together 24/7.

Mark and I moved in together shortly after going public with our relationship, but we never created a big issue over our age. We never said: "Oh, how do you feel about moving in together with our age gap." It was a very natural and seamless process.

I was pretty nervous about telling my mom, she's quite conservative and thinks pretty differently to many within the Gen Z generation. But we never actually had to tell her about our relationship, because she found out by accident.

I had been housesitting for her, but didn't realize she had installed a nanny cam. One morning Mark walked through the living room naked and I got a phone call from my mother shouting: "Who is that old man in my living room!"

It was a lot to take in for her at first, but she loves Mark now. My mom can see how happy we are together, which is all she ever wanted for me romantically. She says that since I've been with Mark, I'm the most comfortable with myself she's seen me since I was a child.

I did lose a few friends when we first went public. Some people just could not wrap their head around our relationship. Those friends and I stopped talking because there wasn't anything we could relate to each other about anymore. Plus, there were some sour comments on social media alluding to Mark and I.

However, the majority of people are very supportive of our relationship. Our social groups are completely mixed. Most people can see the connection between us and are accepting of our love.

On TikTok, we do receive negative comments, but we think that's because we live in such a "keyboard warrior" world now. People get crazy online; most of the comments don't even make sense.

Some of the audience we have on social media seems to be very conservative and can be quite full on with their opinions. We're not matching their social norms, so they just get worked up and lash out. There seems to be this undefinable age limit that exists, but our relationship has been a very relaxed organic process.

It doesn't bother us in the slightest, we do a lot of meditation and self reflection, there is no point in getting upset about other people's feelings. It's not like we're going to separate because of a negative comment.

We got married on February 21, 2021. Mark is the least romantic person in the world and so his proposal was pretty low-key. We were eating at our favorite restaurant when he said: "I think we should get married now, pick a date."

I thought he was joking, but he was serious. I picked a date and he started reading out his phone calendar, juggling around dates until we found one that worked. I've never dreamed about the whole stereotypical white wedding, so I thought it was perfect. We don't take ourselves too seriously, I think our wedding cost less than $3,000.

For me, being with an older man is amazing. Mark has seen everything before, it's like going to a doctor and saying: "Have you seen this before?" The answer is usually yes. There's a level of comfort with Mark and I can be myself. I don't have any insecurity. I've always felt like an old soul, and being able to have that stability in my life is great.

Sav Kepler, 24, and Mark Kepler, 46, live together in Sydney, Australia. You can follow their journey on TikTok @savandmark

All views expressed in this article are the author's own.

As told to Monica Greep.