Anger as Bride Calls Brother 'Cheap' for Refusing To Buy Her a Wedding Gift

The internet has backed a man who refuses to buy his sister a wedding gift even though his family is trying to pressure him into doing so, calling him "selfish" for "making [his] sister's big day all about [him]."

In a post shared on Reddit in May, under the username u/EarthClassic230, he explained that his older sister recently announced that she's getting married, and because he's a wedding planner she asked him to help her plan her big day.

He initially hesitated, because the wedding was set for the busy season, which meant he would miss out on business, but he still decided to put her first and plan her bid day instead.

According to website WeddingWire, most couples in the U.S. usually spend between $1,000 and $2,500 on a wedding planner.

He wrote: "She was so happy when I agreed and we started going over her plans and themes, I found some venues and we went to look at them, I took care of all of the catering so all she had to do was taste test and pick, I was also able to use my connections to get her special deals and stuff like that."

After all the effort he put into planning her wedding, as well as dealing with his sister's multiple meltdowns, the poster thought that she appreciated all he'd done for her and that it was clear that was going to be his present. But while he was sorting the gifts registry out, his sister told him he could have "first dibs" on what gift he was getting her.

"I looked at her confused and said that my help planning was my gift," he said. "She then said that a lot of family helped out and they are still getting gifts. I told her that other family members helped move furniture or lend me their car to pick up supplies, I was doing most of the work and was missing out on actually getting paid [for] helping her.

"She said she's grateful for my help but that this wouldn't really constitute a gift unless I was paying for things like her dress or the venue. And she said it didn't matter when I brought up that my connections have literally saved her thousands when you add them up. She's now calling me cheap and is getting our family involved."

Not happy with his decision, his sister got their parents involved, who agree that he should buy her a wedding present even though he's planned her wedding for free. The parents have been calling him selfish for making his sister's big day about him.

"If I could afford it I wouldn't mind getting her something, but the cheapest thing in the registry is almost $200 and I'm not well off, plus my loss of income I can't afford something like that [right now]. I want to support her but I don't think I'm gonna get her a gift," he added.

Marni Goldman, certified life coach, and author of True to Myself, told Newsweek that even though as a wedding planner he's probably had to deal with "bridezillas" before, it's a different dynamic when it is your "spoiled, entitled, arrogant, ungrateful sister."

She said: "There's something so special when somebody offers you their time and energy, it's valuable and priceless. [His] sister's difficult personality while planning could not have been a complete shock to [him]. The presumptuous nature and expectant gift from [him], that was somewhat shocking. It was basically a slap in the face, that [his] time and energy were not good enough for her?

"When [he] told her then that your gift was the party planning, one would think it would be met with, OMG, thank you so much! Nobody should ever be generous with anybody else's finances."

According to Goldman, having the family involved, and calling him selfish, is "absolutely asinine," and she believes that his family's pressure has nothing to do with him and that they're probably just angry for having to placate his sister once again.

"There just seems to be a lack of respect for [him]. I would never say turn your back from family, but back away slowly," she added.

The post, and the reactions, quickly went viral, receiving thousands of upvotes. One user, Pleasant-Koala147 commented: "[Not The A*****]. Make an itemised bill for her outlining the hours you've spent, the income you've lost by turning down paid gigs, and the savings you've got her through your contacts. Print the final total in big, bold numbers, then print 'Gifted' in red letters across the front. Frame it and put it on a stand at the gift table at her wedding so everyone can see how generous you've been."

IllustriousShake6072 said: "[Not The A******]. Loss of income IS an expense. She sounds like an entitled brat."

Nun_the_wiser wrote: "You can send her a bill alongside your gift. She can't have it both ways. [Not The A******]. And TheObvi0us13 added: "[Not The A******]—It was clear that this was your wedding gift, she's literally being greedy. It's not worth falling out over, so I'd just buy the couple a $12 bottle of wine or something and be done with it."

Newsweek reached out to u/EarthClassic230 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.