Woman Praised for 'Favoring' Niece Over Nephew With Expensive Birthday Gift

A woman who treated the daughter of her "struggling" sister with a lavish birthday gift but only bought shoes for the "spoiled" son of her other sister has gotten support from Reddit users.

In a post shared on Reddit's Am I The A**hole (AITA) subforum, user throwawaygifti said she has two sisters known as Hannah and Sarah.

"Sarah's family is pretty well off. Her kids have an easy life and I'd say they are even somehow spoiled. Hannah however is financially struggling," according to throwawaygifti.

The user said Sarah called her "AH [a**hole]," claiming that "it's not fair that I gave Faye [Hannah's 16-year-old daughter] a gaming laptop but only bought a pair of shoes for Alec's [Sarah's 17-year-old son] birthday..."

In an October 2011 interview with Vision Media, Robert Milardo, the author of The Forgotten Kin: Aunts and Uncles, said "relationships among siblings are among the more resilient, long lasting, and intimate of family ties, and with the introduction of children, the roles of aunt and uncle are added to the mix of bonds linking siblings."

Bella DePaulo, the author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After, told Vision Media that if the kids "can see a single aunt or uncle living a full life as a single person and contributing in a positive way to society and to the family, that's a role that's different from the one their parents are modeling, but not less important."

What does it mean to be spoiled? According to an August 2017 Psychology Today article by Dr. Frederic Neuman, "being spoiled suggests to most people a desire for more and more possessions...," but there is another aspect, which is "an unwillingness to conform to ordinary social expectations."

Neuman said: "Somebody who won't do what he or she is expected to do is spoiled....such a person is preoccupied by thoughts of what he or she does not have. And lacking discipline, that person may fail at work and in social situations."

In this latest viral Reddit post, throwawaygifti said she debated what to get her niece Faye for her birthday and remembered being told her laptop was broken.

"I knew Hannah can't replace it so I decided to buy a chromebook for her but then I [remembered] how much she [Faye] always wanted to play games," throwawaygifti said. "So I decided it would be nice if someone spoiled her [Faye] for once, so I bought a gaming laptop instead."

After the birthday, Sarah "blew up" at throwawaygifti, accusing her of spending "a lot more time with Faye." throwawaygifti responded that it was because Sarah's kids are "spoiled so I enjoy spending time with Faye more."

According to throwawaygifti, Sarah allegedly "told this to all our extended family and called me a bunch of names on Facebook" over the past few days.

Several Redditors shared support for throwawaygifti, praising her for her birthday gesture.

In a comment that got 11,000 upvotes, user Short-Classroom2559 said: "NTA [not the a**hole]. Tell your sister this wasn't a group decision and you don't need her input on how to spend your money. She's well off and her kids probably lack for nothing. If she pushes the issue, point that out."

Short-Classroom2559 added: "It's not even a matter of favorites. It's sheer economics. She can afford whatever is needed for her kids. Your mutual sister can't. If she can't wrap her head around that then that's her problem, not yours."

In a comment that received 1,000 upvotes, me0mio said: "Instead of getting defensive, [point] out how you are just evening up the playing field."

newleaf123456 said: "I think the question that Sarah poses is fundamentally flawed. It's not a question of why OP [original poster] is helping out her sister, who is a struggling single mom, but why Sarah isn't.

"Sarah is heartless, selfish and even cruel," newleaf123456 added. "If she's well off, she should have been the one to buy her niece a laptop, not telling off OP for stepping up and helping out."

Newsweek has contacted throwawaygifti, the original poster, for comment.