Fury at Why Bride Complained Sister Got More Money Gifted on Her Wedding

The internet has backed a parent who told their daughter it was fair she got less money for her wedding than her sister did because she's been "less of a social person all of her life."

In a post shared on Reddit earlier this month under the username u/Busy-Fall-4184, the parent explained that when their older daughter, Maddy, got married in the summer of 2021, she had a traditional big wedding with over 150 guests. Jess had a small intimate ceremony in December 2022 that more suited her personality as she hates being the center of attention.

A week after her small wedding, Jess threw a party to celebrate with all the relatives, but it wasn't a big dinner, just "drinks and hors-d'oeuvres." Many of the relatives decided to pass, so only about one-third of the relatives attended her party, according to the Redditor.

The poster said that for this reason—and probably also because Maddy got married in the summer while she chose to get married in the winter—Jess received significantly less money from their relatives than her sister did.

According to The Knot Real Weddings Study, the average wedding size in the United States in 2022 was around 117 guests.

Maddy was gifted over $25,000 from her and her husband's families, which she used as a deposit for a house; Jess only got a few thousand, "mostly from her grandparents," according to the poster. When Jess complained about the difference in gifts, saying that "its proof that the family doesn't care about her," the Redditor accused her of "sounding a little bratty."

"I told her she shouldn't be surprised that people she chose not to include in her actual wedding weren't willing to travel to the other event or be as generous and that she should be grateful people came at all and that her parents paid for everything," they wrote. "I told her for having no expenses and still getting a few thousand dollars, she should be thankful."

"This was exactly what she wanted and my spouse and I paid for it entirely," the frustrated parent added.

After the argument, Jess was really upset and acting "a little overdramatic," according to the Redditor, but even Maddy said they were "a little harsh" with their delivery.

Florence Ann Romano, personal-growth strategist and author of Build Your Village: A Guide to Finding Joy and Community in Every Stage of Life, told Newsweek that this argument could have a very simple solution, a different approach that she can use next time.

"You can say what you mean and NOT say it mean—that's a rule of thumb in my life! And it could be applied here," Romano said. "The mom's opinion wasn't wrong (I agree with her, too), but her delivery was the issue. She could have made her same point in a softer way. If she had, the compounding hurt feelings could have been avoided."

The post, originally shared on the r/AmItheA****** (AITA) subreddit, where users discuss their dilemmas with strangers, has now gone viral, receiving over 5,500 upvotes and 1,600 comments.

One user, thatshygal717, commented: "NTA (Not The A******). Why would your family give money to a couple who didn't even invite them to the wedding? The cash gift was just that — a gift. They are lucky to have received more than they spent on the wedding (which was paid for by parents.)"

Redditor _space_pumpkin_ also sided with the poster: "And tell her to count her lucky stars. I eloped and begged not to have a reception later. I wanted to keep the money we saved for a honeymoon or house. I caved, invited about 36 people," they wrote.

"Half of them showed up, some canceled two days before the event, and some didn't even bother to respond. At the reception, a couple gave us a bottle of whiskey and another family member gave us some towels. So I literally dropped $5,000 just for 18 people to get as drunk as possible within 3 hours at an open bar."

Another commenter, DrSaks added: "NTA. Who seriously cries because they 'only got a few thousand' as wedding money? That's very spoilt and ungrateful, I can see why fewer people came and gifted her money.

"Jess is seriously NTA, a celebration dinner isn't a wedding and I don't imagine those attending really thought about giving a wedding-style present," they said. "This isn't about favoritism, this is about two different events receiving different gifts."

Newsweek reached out to u/Busy-Fall-4184 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.