Bride-To-Be Who 'Destroyed' Family Heirloom Without Warning Slammed Online

A woman has been backed for her fury after her cousin "ruined" a family heirloom.

The 26-year-old shared the story on Reddit's r/AmITheA****** forum where she asked if she was wrong for telling her cousin that she ruined their heirloom.

"I have two cousins. My oldest cousin, 'Jane' is married. My other cousin, 'Amy,' just got married—I am single," wrote user u/razzle6620. "Right before she got engaged last summer, our grandma gave Amy's fiancé 'John' a diamond ring to propose with."

The white gold and diamond ring was given to their grandmother by their grandpa. He died when their dads were teenagers, and their grandmother had since remarried but always said she would pass on the ring.

"I won't lie, I've always loved that ring and hoped it would be me but I'm also the youngest cousin so I tried to temper my expectations. Mostly I was happy for Amy and glad the ring was staying in the family and Jane agreed," said the poster.

But this weekend was Amy's wedding, and in the hotel room while the bride was getting ready, they were asked if they wanted to see the rings.

"We were both confused, but said sure. And what she showed us was a gargantuan, tacky engagement ring and wedding band set," said the poster. "I sputtered something like, 'But I thought you were getting married with grandma's ring?'"

Thrilled, the bride explained that the ring was their grandmother's ring.

"She explained that for her wedding gift, she asked John to 'upgrade' the ring into this monstrosity since he didn't have to pay for an engagement ring in the first place," said the poster. "One of the diamonds was grandma's and then the white gold melted down to make one of her wedding bands but the rest was all new stuff."

The Redditor explained she burst into tears: "I was so shocked and hurt. I told her she destroyed our grandparent's heirloom—if she wanted a giant diamond to wear every day that's her choice but the ring was important to our family."

Family heirlooms often cause tension among relatives. One teen was recently cheered for refusing to share her mom's heirloom with her half-sister, while a dad was slammed for planning to give his late wife's heirloom to his adopted daughter.

Her other cousin was upset, but said that it was not their ring and there was nothing they could do about it now. The poster even told their grandmother about the ring, and while she was upset she also didn't say anything.

Nicola Parker is a counsellor and runs the site strongerthanyourmind.com supporting mom's mental health. She told Newsweek: "It is unfortunately so common, more common than you'd think that families over inheritance. From money to objects including clothes and other personal possessions. I think it's time that we start talking as families about our wishes and feelings, so that this leaves less room for potential arguments when we have passed away."

During the wedding, there was an awkwardness between the bride and the cousin, and afterward the bride demanded an apology.

"I don't think I'm in the wrong for saying she destroyed a family heirloom. Plus the fact that she didn't tell anyone what she was doing and misled grandma says to me she knew she was wrong or at least it wouldn't have been condoned," said the poster. "I feel like she saw it not as an heirloom but a way to subsidize what she really wanted."

In over 900 comments, Reddit users rushed to side with the woman who was upset about the ring.

"NTA [not the a******]," said one commenter. "What kind of a****** takes apart a family heirloom? You can't be blamed for having an emotional reaction, and she's so trashy for what she did."

Another commenter said: "Your cousin sounds selfish and ungrateful."

"It is helpful if loved ones are specific about who gets what and why," said Parker. "As well as stating if they do or do not want the item to be changed in anyway. This prevents potential arguments."

Newsweek reached out to u/razzle6620 for comment. We were not able to verify the details of this case.

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