Bride Rejecting Stepdad Walking Her Down the Aisle Backed: 'Never His Kid'

The internet has sided with a bride-to-be who won't let her stepdad walk her down the aisle at her wedding, even though her family expects him to, as she says he is not "worthy" of the role.

In a post shared on Reddit in December under the username u/TroubleInSnow, she explained that her father died when she was a baby, and her mom only married her new husband once she moved away for college with her grandparents, when she was already over 17 years old.

Now her mom, who has built a family with her new husband, is demanding he walks her down the aisle, even though the poster says she was "never his kid," and he can one day walk their children down the aisle instead of her.

According to Brides magazine, this tradition comes from "an era where women were the property of men," and walking daughters down the aisle, giving them away represented "a transfer of ownership from her father to her new husband."

Although her family insists she should let her stepdad walk her, the poster has no intentions of caving in: "We never lived together. He never parented me or put a roof over my head or any of the stuff that some might say makes him worthy of playing Father of the Bride," she said.

Instead, she's asked her late father's brother to cover his role, and now her family is calling her ungrateful and disrespectful for not choosing her stepdad after he had done "so much for [her]," even though the poster says he's never really done anything for her anyway, besides caring for her mom, who is also his wife.

Jennifer Bohr-Cueva, a New York-based licensed clinical social worker, told Newsweek that a step-parent does not automatically receive a special role on a stepchild's wedding day, it is the bride's personal choice as to whom she asks to walk her down the aisle.

"The bride has chosen her uncle, a biological and emotional connection to her father. The bride's mother is crossing boundaries by asking her to put her stepfather's feelings before her own.

"Perhaps the mother's pathology is one of self-absorption and self-entitlement. Perhaps the mother is not facing the reality that her daughter does not have a loving bond with the stepfather. The bond can't be forced, especially since the stepfather played no part in raising the bride," she said.

According to Bohr-Cueva, new couples naturally want their families to blend as quickly as possible, but the reality is that it takes years for step-families to become a cohesive family unit.

"Perhaps the mother is caught up in a fantasy that her family is more cohesive than it truly is. If mom holds onto this fantasy, she may jeopardize her relationship with her daughter. Mom needs to reconcile the fact that her husband and her daughter do not have a loving bond."

The post shared on the r/AmItheA****** subreddit, where users discuss their actions with strangers, has gone viral, receiving over 8,400 upvotes and 1,400 likes so far.

One user, itsathrowawayduhhhhh, commented: "[Not The A******]! Wow their reactions are annoying and weird! If he was in your life since you were a baby sure maybe I could understand it. But you were already moved out when he came into the picture! Sorry they're being so ridiculous about this, try not to let it ruin your special day."

And JsCTmav wrote: "[Not The A******]. It's amazing how this act of entitlement probably has just destroyed any good feelings OP had about her mom's husband. It seems like he just went from 'good guy, glad he's there for mom' to 'delusional pushy asshole who thinks he's owed special status because he exists.' But while we're on the subject, OP, I really think I should be the one to walk you down the aisle. Sure, we've never met, but I did something nice for someone once, I figure you owe me..."

Serious-Currency108 added: "[Not The A******]. It's your wedding, you decide who walks you down the aisle, but a serious talk is in order (possibly in therapy) because there is a serious discrepancy between what your mom and step-dad believe and what you believe your relationship is."

Newsweek reached out to u/TroubleInSnow for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.