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Britney Spears' newfound freedom since her conservatorship ended last year has seen her speak openly and candidly on Instagram about her life under the arrangement.
In her latest social media post, the 40-year-old singer discussed her lack of freedom during those years and how on one occasion she found a sense of spirituality through food and eating.
"I found God in food. God is f***** food," Spears wrote in part in a post on June 8.
"I have admitted in the past that I lost my faith in God at one point and I still struggle with that," she wrote.
"But I will tell you a secret, I believe God is food. Call me crazy... call me coo coo... call me just plain dumb... I just don't care... at the darkest, most depressing, most unbelievably sad moments of my life..."
Spears went on to describe an anecdote from her conservatorship when she felt patronized by a therapist who was making her draw pictures.
She said she had given blood that day and was feeling weak so she ran to her kitchen and "devoured" a mango, skin, and all.
"I just ran to the kitchen and grabbed a huge mango and ate the whole thing in literally two seconds," she joked. "I devoured it, made love to it, cherished it!"
The singer said that this was one of the "most spiritual moments" of her life.
The pop star has been adjusting to her newfound freedom and sharing her reflections on her life and her past since her court-appointed guardianship was dissolved late last year.
Spears was placed on a 5150 psychiatric hold at the start of 2008, leading to the controversial conservatorship, where her personal and financial decisions were overseen by others, namely her father Jamie Spears, for almost 14 years before the arrangement was dissolved.
Her post about finding spirituality in food comes amid rumors she is set to marry her fiancé Sam Asghari today.
The rumors stem from an Instagram story she filmed today, Thursday, of herself sipping champagne with Asghari in the back of a chauffeur-driven Rolls-Royce.
"This is my second time to ever be in Rolls-Royce, I'm really excited... there are stars on the ceiling and tiny champagne glasses, which I've never had, that are very cold already," she said to the camera in a mock English accent.
"I feel very sophisticated with all the jewels on my hand," she told fans before flashing a hand to the camera.
"Toodle-oo my friends. Cheers." The couple announced a "devastating" miscarriage in May.
