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It didn't take long for God to address man's potential loneliness problem in the Old Testament, the first half of the world's bestselling book. Indeed, it happens just 36 verses into the book that joins two major religions—Judaism and Christianity—and that has informed Western civilization.
"And the Lord God said, 'It is not good for man to be alone,'" God proclaims in Genesis 2:18.
"Until this verse," Dennis Prager explains in his book The Rational Bible: Genesis, the only adjective God used to describe what He created was 'good.' Now, for the first time, God declares something 'not good.' In the words of the great 17th-century author John Milton (Paradise Lost): 'Loneliness is the first thing which God's eye named not good.'"
Soon thereafter, God paired up Adam with Eve, and the notion of man and woman becoming one in marriage was born.
Two thousand-plus years later, the data from social and medical science confirms what God declared in that early verse in the Bible: loneliness is bad for us and may indeed kill us. And marriage is not only good for us; it makes us happy.
First, the bad news. "America's top doctor declares loneliness an epidemic and warns it's as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day," a headline from the U.K.'s Daily Mail shouted earlier this year, along with media outlets across America.
"Lonely people are up to 30 percent more likely to suffer heart disease, and are at far greater risk for dementia, stroke and depression," according to an advisory published in May by U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy that prompted all the headlines. And the worst and most shocking data point of them all was this one: Loneliness increases the chances of premature death by a whopping 30 percent.
The data was overwhelmingly negative in Murthy's report. "Research cited in the advisory found that time spent with friends dropped 20 hours a month between 2003 and 2020," the Daily Mail reported. Meanwhile, time spent alone shot up by 24 hours.
The loneliness epidemic is hitting young people especially hard. The 15- to 24-year-old age group reported a nearly 70 percent decline in time spent with friends during the same period. Seventy percent!
A recent Gallup survey revealed even more disturbing details about the growing loneliness problem. "Loneliness is inversely related to the density of the population in the area where one lives," Gallup reported. "Those who live in big cities are the most likely to report a lot of loneliness the prior day, significantly higher than those in rural areas (20% versus 12%, respectively)."
The report continued: "That those who live in the most sparsely populated areas are also the least likely to feel loneliness is likely influenced by higher percentages of rural populations being married and having children at home than what is found in urban environments. Both factors, but particularly being married or having a domestic partner, mitigate the chances of experiencing loneliness."
Then came the most startling countercultural statistic buried in news reports about Gallup's poll: Singles are more than twice as likely to experience loneliness than married people. That's not a statistical anomaly: It's worthy of screaming headlines from coast to coast.
The many stories that followed mentioned a long list of contributing factors, with social media, COVID-19 and economic factors leading the charge. Marriage was generally treated with the same indifference it gets from academia, media and the culture: as an institutional relic that modern life has passed by.
Indeed, social and mainstream media and Hollywood movies are filled with stories that portray marriage and parenthood as unfulfilling, especially for women. Both are routinely caricatured as impediments to freedom and happiness. Worse still, many Americans have adopted that narrative, despite overwhelming new evidence to the contrary.
"The 2022 edition of the General Social Survey (GSS)—the nation's preeminent social barometer—reveals that marriage and family are strongly associated with happiness," W. Brad Wilcox, a professor of sociology at the University of Virginia, and Wendy Long, director of research at the Institute for Family Studies, concluded in a joint report released in September.
One group experienced the greatest benefits. "The GSS shows that a combination of marriage and parenthood is linked to the biggest happiness dividends for women," Wilcox and Long reported. "Among married women with children between the ages of 18 and 55, 40% reported they are 'very happy,' compared to 25% of married childless women, and just 22% of unmarried childless women."
Unmarried mothers fared even worse and were the least likely to be happy, with a mere 17 percent describing themselves as "very happy."
Where were the headlines about that data?
The data for men was equally compelling. "The 2022 GSS indicates that marriage is also linked to greater happiness for men ages 18-55," Wilcox and Long noted. "Specifically, 35% of married men ages 18-55 who have children report being 'very happy,' followed by 30% of married men who do not have children. By contrast unmarried childless men, and especially unmarried fathers, are the least happy—with less than 15% of these men saying they are 'very happy.' In other words, married men (ages 18-55) in America are about twice as likely to be very happy, compared to their unmarried peers."
This data should have garnered screaming headlines across the country: Marriage and Parenthood Are Good for Women and Men Alike.
"Contrary to the views articulated by many on social media, the mainstream media, and the American public, marriage and parenthood do not appear to be obstacles to living a happy life," Wilcox and Long concluded. "Instead, these two traditional markers of adulthood are associated with a happier life. As difficult as marriage and parenthood can be, in general, men and women who have the benefit of a spouse and children are the most likely to report that they are 'very happy' with their lives."
Wilcox has also been extolling the benefits of marriage and parenthood that extend beyond health and economics. "I'm seeing more evidence that those Americans who do end up getting married and having kids are becoming that much more advantaged in terms of their financial security, sense of meaning in life, and social connection to the larger world. And they're doing relatively better emotionally as well."
The reason for increased rates of happiness is pretty obvious: Married people with kids have a purpose and meaning that's greater than themselves.
Regrettably, most Americans aren't getting the good news about marriage and children. Indeed, a poll released in June by the Pew Research Center revealed that the prevailing negative narrative continues its grip on the country. A record 25 percent of 40-year-olds in the United States have never married, up from just 6 percent in 1980, a fourfold increase in just 40 years.
Wilcox's soon to be released book, Get Married: Why Americans Must Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families and Save Civilization, is his latest effort to help change prevailing cultural attitudes about marriage and parenthood. His message just may be the antidote to the loneliness epidemic. After all, it was God's idea to put man and woman together. It turns out social science and medical science, thousands of years later, are proving him right.
Forget white privilege, folks. It's the marriage/parenthood privilege that the media should be covering. The answer to America's loneliness problem—and our happiness—depends on it.
