School's Response to Child Missing Class Slammed: 'So Judgmental'

A school's unusual response to a child's classroom absence has received a storm of criticism on Reddit.

According to a recent post shared on the online forum, one parent found a worksheet titled "3rd Grade PRESENTATION, Miss School....Miss Out" in their 8-year-old son's folder after he didn't attend school one day. According to a later update, it was the child's "first called off day of the year, NOT the first day of school."

The parent shared a picture of the worksheet, which featured a crossword exercise, in a post two days earlier on Reddit, where it had received 39,000 upvotes at the time of writing.

Listed at the bottom of the worksheet were several words to look out for in the crossword, which included "truant, absent, excuse, attend, responsibility" and others.

The poster, known as Secret_Anybody4799 on Reddit, wrote: "I just don't know how to feel about this. My son had to ask me what truant meant. Is this directed at the parents or simply just a fun worksheet?"

Nancy Taylor, a certified school psychologist based in Connecticut, told Newsweek: "There are so many reasons a child could miss school, and it is so judgmental to assume it is truancy."

Ellen Braaten, a licensed psychologist and child neuropsychologist based in Massachusetts, told Newsweek that "it's okay for kids to feel shame when they've done something wrong" and "it's one emotion that helps children learn to behave appropriately."

However, "shaming is something else entirely" as "it includes embarrassing children for behavior they might not have been able to control."

Alexa Pinsker, a licensed professional counselor based in Colorado, told Newsweek: "As a school counselor and a licensed therapist, I do not think 'shaming' a student or their family into attending school is ever effective."

The Reddit post comes as school absenteeism in the U.S. among students from kindergarten to the 12th grade was reported to have increased since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic and has "contributed to falling test scores," according to a September 13 blog post shared by the White House.

Results from the School Pulse Panel of the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) showed that in May 2022, almost three-quarters of public schools reported that "chronic absenteeism" had increased since before the pandemic, the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) said in August. Survey data collected as part of the NAEP 2022 assessments "corroborate this finding."

According to the NAEP, on average, 22 percent of fourth-grade public school students reported being absent five days or more in "the month preceding the date they took the NAEP assessment—double the percentage in 2019."

"Fourth-graders reported increased absenteeism in every state where data are reportable," the NAEP said.

Shaming Has 'Little to No Effect'

Braaten, who is the author of the book Bright Kids Who Couldn't Care Less, said that "an 8-year-old doesn't really have much ability to get himself to school on time, so if the worksheet was given to shape his behavior, it would have little to no effect.

"In fact, it could lead to him not wanting to go to school because he feels ashamed of himself or his family. He might be confused as to what he did that was wrong and frustrated that there is nothing to do that can change his fate. It can impact his self-esteem."

Taylor said that if you want students to see you as adversaries, you can "use shame to make them feel dominated and controlled," adding that "shame leads to compliance and minimal effort and has no place in 21st-century education."

However, if you want them to see you as support figures, "they benefit from us teaching them why values are important, using affirming language, and supporting them through complex situations," she noted.

Ask Questions and 'Make School a Safe Space'

Braaten said that the best way to get kids to attend school regularly and on time is to "make school a safe space."

The psychologist noted that if kids are frequently absent or late, "there's usually something else going on with the family," which can include stressors, losses, undiagnosed learning problems or mental health issues.

"Rather than shaming a child, a better option is to evaluate what is happening and give the child and family the support they need," Braaten said.

Pinsker agreed, noting that rather than using the "FOMO" (fear of missing out) strategy, a call home to ask more questions and offering support from the school mental health team "would be much more impactful."

The school counselor explained: "This approach does not use shame or guilt to encourage attendance, rather it encourages empathy and the opportunity for a genuine conversation."

'Horrible' and 'Uncalled For'

Several Reddit users criticized the school's alleged response to the child's absence in the latest post.

Repulsive_Raise6728 wrote: "Former teacher here: This is horrible…"

WorldNewsPoster said: "This is definitely uncalled for. One missed day of school doesn't warrant punishment, in my opinion. There could be several reasons why someone may miss their first day of school…"

LordLacaar noted the school's alleged reaction to the child's absence was "definitely a punishment," while TomeThugNHarmony4664 said: "That is petty as hell."

Some were less bothered, such as real_fake_hoors who said: "Am I crazy or does this not seem like a big deal and everyone is making a mountain out of a mole hill? Oh my god your child was given a wordsearch. The horror…"

Vagadude agreed, saying: "I'm with you, I'd see this and laugh at how dumb it is but if you make it a big deal, your kid knows it's a big deal…"

RedAero noted: "I'm still confused at all the people upset about the use of the word 'truant' as if it's a slur or something. If you miss school, you're truant, that's literally what it means."

Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment via the Reddit messaging system.

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