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Members of a popular internet forum were quick to defend one woman whose birthday party turned out to be anybody's but her own.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/Due_Combination_2175 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said she begrudgingly agreed to celebrate her 30th birthday and described her shock upon discovering she wouldn't be celebrated at all.
Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for 'ruining' a fathers day celebration with my foul attitude?" the post has received nearly 7,000 votes and 500 comments in the last ten hours.
Beginning with the explanation that she hasn't celebrated her birthday for the last eight years, the original poster said that this year, her sister-in-law offered to host a party and she couldn't help but oblige.
"It was not even remotely what I wanted to do on my birthday, but I felt like I couldn't say no," OP wrote.
However, when the original poster and her husband arrived for the birthday celebration, it was clear her sister-in-law's invitation was a total hoax.
"Not one single person said Happy Birthday to me, including my [sister-in-law]," and she had a banner along her door that said 'Happy Fathers Day,'" OP wrote. "About an hour and a half in...I was completely over it."
"I sat in a lawn chair outside and started browsing my phone. One of [my husband's] uncles sits down near me and he goes 'Thanks for having us for Fathers Day, this is nice,'" OP continued. "My [sister-in-law] then turns to me and says 'S**t, Happy Birthday.'"
After informing her husband's uncle that she was lead to believe the family gathering would be a birthday party, the original poster said her sister-in-law was embarrassed to be caught in the lie, but refused to admit her wrongdoing.
"She turns beat red and says I shouldn't be souring the mood over something trivial and that the family is never able to get together like this so she just 'combined' the two events," OP wrote. "I get up and say 'Yeah well that would have worked if you had told people that you were combining the events...because no one here is aware that I even exist."
"I then get in my car and leave," OP continued. "My husband is pissed because he said that I didn't have to make a big deal out of it."
Toxic in-laws, whether parents or siblings, cling to the importance they once held in a loved one's life and will often do whatever they can to stay one step ahead of by-marriage family members.
Although many marriage and relationship outlets, like Brides.com, recommend a myriad of strategies to mitigate these types of in-laws including lots of open dialogue and boundary setting, acting in good faith sometimes plays directly into the deceit and manipulation.
Recently, Newsweek has reported on countless Reddit threads detailing run-ins with toxic mothers-in-law, but sprinkled throughout forums like r/AmITheA**hole have also been tales of horrific interactions with sisters-in-law.
From a bride banning her sister-in-law from her wedding because she was afraid to be upstaged, to a wife who had to trick her husband's family into eating her baked goods because of her sister-in-law's longstanding embargo on desserts made by anybody but her, Redditors responding to these accounts have taken issue with the undermining and unnecessary behavior.
In the case of the original poster and her birthday/Father's day fusion party, the reaction was largely the same.
"[Not the a**hole]," Redditor u/wanderingpanda402 wrote in the post's top comment, which has received more than 12,000 votes. "What a terrible thing to do, trick you into coming over and helping on your birthday."
"Someone told you they were throwing you a birthday party. Then you arrived and it was not a birthday party for you," Redditor u/beaniebay37 added, receiving nearly 3,000 votes. "[Not the a**hole]."
Redditor u/Federal-Scallion-627, whose comment has received nearly 2,000 votes, offered a similar response, but shifted focus to the original poster's husband.
"She lied and got caught," they wrote. "You did nothing wrong.
"Also, I completely understand your husband being excited to see relatives he hasn't seen in a while, but he also needs to be compassionate that it was your birthday and you were lied to," they added.
In a separate comment, which has received more than 1,000 votes, Redditor u/Screamscaper speculated that the original poster's sister-in-law would be quick to agree with the notion that OP was just being dramatic after realizing the party was not for her.
"You know what's even worse? Even though SIL deserved being told off, you just know she's gonna make sure that image of you being 'dramatic'...never blows over with your in-laws," they wrote. "What a crappy thing she did with this weird bait and switch."
Newsweek reached out to u/Due_Combination_2175 for comment.
About the writer
Taylor McCloud is a Newsweek staff writer based in California. His focus is reporting on trending and viral topics. Taylor ... Read more