Dad Abandoning Daughter on Vacation for Romantic Break With Wife Praised

The internet has praised a man who changed his holiday plans with his daughter last minute, so he could take his wife on the romantic holiday they have always dreamed of.

In a post shared to Reddit on Monday, user Flat-Blueberry-4469 explained that he and his wife have always dreamt of going on a luxurious vacation for their 40th anniversary, and after saving for years they managed to book the romantic holiday.

The cost of a holiday is not cheap. According to a survey carried out by Forbes earlier this year, half of respondents budgeted $4,000 or more for travel throughout the year, while another 28 percent expect to spend between $2,000 and $3,999.

When the poster and his wife announced their holiday plans to their children, their daughter decided to invite herself, her husband and children, making it a family holiday rather than a romantic one.

"I originally put my foot down and told them this trip was just for us which upset her some. But my wife has a hard time saying no to Jane, as she is the youngest of our children and our only daughter, and she didn't want to hurt her feelings, so she reluctantly agreed to let them join," the man wrote. "I wasn't thrilled about it at the time, but I wanted to make my family happy, and I knew my wife was also okay with the idea of a 'family' trip even if she was heartbroken we wouldn't get our romantic trip."

To accommodate their daughter, they ended up changing the destination of their trip to be more child-friendly. His wife also made him pay for the hotel stay for everyone and the plane tickets for the children too.

"Here's where things get complicated. As the vacation got closer, I started having a change of heart. I realized that our 40th anniversary was a once-in-a-lifetime milestone, and I wanted to honor it in a way that was true to our original plans. My wife and I might not be able to afford a trip like this again for quite some time and it's something we always wanted to do," u/Flat-Blueberry-4469 wrote.

He continued: "So, without consulting anyone, I switched our tickets at the last minute to go to the romantic destination that my wife and I had originally planned for. I did not tell Jane or her husband. I didn't even tell my wife until the day before our flight left, which was a day before Jane's flight left for their vacation. It wasn't an easy decision and I feel guilty about it. But I wanted our 40th anniversary to be the special, intimate celebration we had always hoped for."

When the couple landed they called their daughter who was "extremely upset," and told her father the reason why it was so important for her to go on holiday together.

The man wrote: "She seemed of the idea that we were going to look after our grandkids so she and her husband could have alone time and now that I abandoned her they would have to do it all themselves. I hung up on them when my son-in-law started shouting and my wife and I enjoyed the rest of our trip."

However when they returned from their romantic trip, their daughter began ignoring them, and now his wife wants him to apologize to her for canceling the trip.

"I'm not sure I want to after learning Jane and her husband were using us for free babysitting and a free trip but I feel like I should just to keep the peace," he added.

Florence Ann Romano, a personal growth strategist and author of Build Your Village: A Guide to Finding Joy and Community in Every Stage of Life, told Newsweek that the daughter was completely out of line inviting herself on the trip in the first place.

"I understand that the wife didn't want to disappoint her daughter, but this could have all been avoided from the very beginning by simply saying that she couldn't come. So many accommodations were made for the daughter and she certainly didn't deserve any of them, to say the least," Romano said.

She continued: "I am fully on the husband's side and commend him for still finding a way to surprise his wife and have the celebration he intended. The daughter has two options: 1) Apologize for being selfish, entitled, and disrespectful; and continue a relationship with your hardworking and kind parents; or 2) continue acting like a spoiled, petulant child and lose your family. I hope she chooses wisely, but I caution the parents to not give in to her behavior. Stay strong!"

Reddit Users React

Meanwhile, the post quickly went viral on the platform's Am I the A****** (AITA) thread, receiving over 23,500 upvotes and 6,100 comments.

One user, Ok_Smoke_1056, commented: "[Not The A******]. What part of the 40th Anniversary trip did your daughter and son-in-law not understand? Oh, boo-freaking-hoo, they wanted to spend time alone and designated the grandparents to babysit on what should have been their special trip.

"If your daughter and son-in-law wanted alone time on a trip, they could have gone on a different trip and politely asked you and your wife to watch the kids while they were away. Not try and hijack your trip!"

And u/No_Initiative_8480 commented: "[Not The A******]. you essentially paid for her holiday, if you then go elsewhere then that's up to you - you have no obligation to tell her or check with her first. She has no right to expect you to be her babysitter on your 40-year wedding anniversary trip!! Jane needs to check her entitlement, funny how she wanted time with her husband without the kids but didn't think you and your wife would want that on such a special occasion.

"Thing she doesn't understand or take into account either is I am sure that over those 40 years and with 3 children you and your wife will have already made compromises and put your kids before you (you sound like the kind of amazing parents that would). It's now time for her to give back and make sure you and your wife get to enjoy some of those things you have missed out on. So [Not The A******], and I'm glad you and your wife enjoyed yourselves xxx Happy anniversary."

u/BusinessGap9207 defended the man's daughter and wrote: "YTA for being so passive. I would have been upset too! Fair enough if you wanted to do the trip. But you said yea, bought tickets - and didn't show up. Instead of just saying NO."

Newsweek reached out to u/Flat-Blueberry-4469 for comment via Reddit chat. We could not verify the details of the case.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.