Dad Blasted for Calling Teen 'Irresponsible' Over Things She Can't Control

The internet has blasted a father after he called his teen daughter "irresponsible" over things she cannot control.

Published to Reddit's popular r/AmITheA**hole forum, a parent under the username u/nothappinggramps shared their story in order to get the opinions of the "AITA" community. The viral post has over 5,000 upvotes and 800 comments.

The original poster (OP) began their story by saying that they were on their first vacation in a post-pandemic world. This is also the first time in a decade that the OP and their husband are vacationing alone.

Their 17-year-old daughter, "Annie," was looking after the house by herself. The Redditor began saying that Annie could "do no right" in his eyes when it came to things including clothes, music and chores as he has called her "irresponsible." The OP has confirmed that she has a summer job and good grades. They say she's more of a "hermit."

The OP said where things went wrong on their vacation.

They wrote, "Unknown to me my husband set the hot water heater to refill only once a day while we are gone. Annie did some dishes and laundry. She took a shower and the water was cold. She was upset and thought it broke and called us panicking. My husband yelled into her for wasting our hot water and telling her how irresponsible she was enough to make her cry.

"I got madder than I ever have in this marriage and basically said most parents would love to have a 17 year old like Annie. We argued and screamed all night so next day I left the resort to a little hotel down the street. My husband as been trying to call me and I told Annie to block her father and don't pay attention to him. My husband is mad about the wasted money on this vacation but I can't stand to even look at him over an argument over something so stupid and preventable," they concluded.

Newsweek reached out to u/nothappinggramps for comment.

Do you have a parent in your life that could be considered "toxic?" Be on the lookout for warning signs including manipulative or controlling behavior, criticizing the choices you make or the people you associate yourself with and having needy tendencies. They also don't see themselves as the problem and could gaslight you thinking you're the problem, per psychcentral.com.

So, how do you deal with a toxic family member? According to choosingtherapy.com, keep in mind that your thoughts and feelings are valid, try your best to set healthy boundaries, have practical expectations, stop trying to change them and reach out to other family members you trust for guidance. If you need extra help, there are support groups and therapy available.

Reddit users were quick to comment in defense of the OP.

"Your husband dislikes your daughter, so much so that he manipulated a situation so that he could have an excuse to bully her. This is deeply toxic and obsessive behavior," u/definitelyjanine5 wrote, receiving the top comment with over 10,000 upvotes, "You need to truly consider whether you are enabling this abuse by staying with him and giving him an avenue for the ongoing verbal abuse of your child. [Not the a**hole] for your behavior here, thanks for sticking up for an innocent kid."

"[Not the a**hole]. You're absolutely [not the a**hole]. Your daughter seems awesome and your husband needs... help, or something. You are awesome for standing up for your daughter like that," u/lenn9n said.

U/ParsimoniousSalad echoed, "[Not the a**hole]. Your husband sees your daughter as unworthy of even having hot water, 'less than.' This can't be the only instance he's treated her awfully. It's time to protect your daughter and put your foot down. He sees nothing wrong with his behavior. Either he needs therapy or you need to do more than leave him just for the vacation."

"[Not the a**hole] - your husband has control issues, and this behaviour will likely result in your daughter going [no contact] with him. And, potentially, with you too by association. What a jerk," u/GrandpaJoeSloth commented.