Dad Changing Twins in Ladies Toilet Over 'Grotty' Mens Sparks Fierce Debate

The internet is torn after a woman asked if her husband was doing the right thing by using the ladies room when out with their young twin daughters, as men's bathrooms are "really grotty."

In a post shared on Mumsnet on Wednesday, the woman, who goes by the username Silverbirch123, explained that lately, her husband has started using the ladies' bathroom when he's out with their 3-year-old daughters after experiencing some inappropriate situations in the men's room.

"The reason he says, for this is that the mens toilets are usually really grotty. He went somewhere a couple of weeks ago where there was only 1 cubicle, and several men using the urinals. He pushed the door open and there was a guy sitting on the toilet who hadn't locked the door." she said. "He immediately came out and used the ladies. No one has ever said anything to him but I've suggested that in those circumstances he uses the disabled, but that's not always possible if you need a special key to open them."

Women's bathrooms have been a hot topic over the last few years, since talks about whether or not it's right to grant trans women access to women's bathrooms alongside cisgender women become more frequent and heated.

According to an academic article by sociologists Charlotte Jones and Jen Slater, published on Sage Journals, questions of access, safety and inclusion in gender-separated toilets became an international talking point in 2016, when North Carolina passed a law prohibiting trans people's use of public toilets that do not match the sex listed on their birth certificates.

Known as "bathroom bills," these laws were then proposed in at least 15 other states, although none were enacted.

"'Gender-critical' feminists oppose 'identity' or gender-based rights," the study said, "instead arguing that women are oppressed as a biological class and deserve rights based on binary and essentialist understandings of male/female sex categories."

The internet was torn on this subject, and among the 601 comments the Mumsnet post got in the last two days some people agree that since it's the girls that need it, they should be able to go, while others categorically refuse to agree, saying men don't belong in women's spaces.

One user, PuttingDownRoots said: "This is why mixed facilities in addition to single-sex facilities is a good idea. It's not always appropriate for girls to go into the mens, it's not appropriate for men to go into the ladies."

Another user, CMOTDibbler said: "He's not disabled, or a woman, so needs to take a packet of wipes with him and take them in the mens." And ClocksGoingBackwards agreed: "He should use the accessible toilets, not the ladies."

Another user, TheStarsDontShine said: "He needs to go in the mens or a unisex loo if available. He should not be in the ladies. He wouldn't take them into a female swimming changing room and loos should not be any different."

StRaphael pointed out: "If I was a woman using the ladies and a dad came in obviously with his young daughter to use the loos personally I'd have zero problem with this. As a PP said giving a little heads up would be polite. This is a very different scenario (in my view) to some of the other debates we could get into but won't. This is just being pragmatic and not subjecting a small child to some disgusting loos (and worse sights) if there's no alternative for the dad."

And Blossomtoes answered: "I agree. I'd have absolutely no problem with this."

Dartmoorcheffy commented: "He's not disabled, or a woman, so needs to take a packet of wipes with him and take them in the mens. Have you ever been into men's toilets? They absolutely stink. Men's public toilets are regularly used by drug users, and a meeting place for sex. There are men stood at urinals. Would you really want a little child in there? I certainly wouldn't."

And PuttingDownRoots wondered: "In five years time, would he be happy seeing an unknown man follow his [daughters] into the ladies toilets?"