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The internet has called out a father for not getting involved with his wife and daughter's "petty" arguments in a post going viral on social media.
Published to Reddit's notorious r/AmITheA**hole forum, a man under the throwaway username, u/throwawaythumb1, shared his story to get the opinion of others and see if he was in the wrong. The viral post has over 5,000 upvotes and 3,000 comments.
The Redditor began his story by explaining that he married "Nelly" a few months ago. His teenage daughter, "Megan," and Nelly have nothing in common and argue frequently. The original poster (OP) told the readers that he didn't get involved in these arguments due to the assumption they would move past their differences. The arguments got worse when Nelly moved into their home.
"Nelly would complain from Megan throwing away stuff of her's just because she thought it didn't belong there. It's been basically a mouse and cat game and I've lost track on who's right and who's wrong. I did try [to] establish some boundaries to try to bring back peace to my home and had them agree that each stays in their own lane and not bother each other. Nelly said that I was wrong [to] think that what Megan is doing is okay but I told her to let it slide," he said.
He explained that his wife uses special shampoo and conditioner due to her having sensitive hair. Nelly typically puts her bathroom products in the bathroom and Megan would get upset due to the fact that "it's not her house" and throws the products away. The OP asked Nelly to keep her shampoo/conditioner in the bathroom, to which she agreed.
One day, Nelly left her things in the bathroom. When Megan went to use it, Nelly's things were gone.
The Redditor wrote, "Nelly freaked out and then had a fight after Megan told her she dumped them out saying she already warned her about leaving her stuff laying around in the bathroom. Nelly broke down and when I said I choose to stay out of this because of how petty it was, she blew up at me.
"She yelled about how I keep letting Megan get away with bad attitude and unjustified misbehavior. Told me to stop enabling her and start setting consequences for her actions. I told her she shouldve been more careful knowing how Megan is so I feel like this was preventable," he continued.
Nelly believed that Megan wouldn't have "gone that far" by throwing away her things. The Redditor talked to his daughter and said that she was acting "nonchalant" and Nelly went to stay with her parents, who also believe that he needs to "step up and do something."
Newsweek reached out to u/throwawaythumb1 for comment.
Are you in a similar situation where your spouse and child don't get along? According to empoweringparents.com, it is better to focus on the behavior and not the attitude of your child as it is tough to make demands on an emotional scale. It is important to be firm with the rules but open to hearing out your child and figuring out how to make situations less argumental. Be strict as abusive language and toxic actions have consequences and are not acceptable.
Divorce can be tough on kids. Here are a few ways to help them move on: stay involved in your child's life, have a co-parenting plan, do not say negative things about the other parent in front of your child, encourage your child to be open about their feelings and keep up with normal routines.
The Reddit community was quick to comment, slamming the OP for his actions.
"[You're the a**hole] here absolutely. She's your child, you should be acting like a parent. Why would you act like they should work it out when it's literally your house and your child," u/Kalenek wrote, receiving the top comment of 22,000 upvotes.
"[You're the a**hole]. You need to grow some balls and step up. Your daughter is literally bullying your wife and you are allowing it to happen. Your wife lives there, she should be allowed to keep her stuff in the bathroom . It isn't a hostel. It's her house. Fix this. You are in the wrong. Man up and fix this," u/KittKatt7179 exclaimed.
U/TheDrunkScientist warned, "[You're the a**hole]. Prepare to be a divorcee."
U/Major_Administrative said, "[You're the a**hole] big time! Just to be clear, you're okay with your daughter telling your wife she doesn't have the right to keep shampoo in her bathroom because she doesn't belong? Thats keeping the peace."
"Your daughter ruined your wifes property and you stayed out of it? You're enabling your daughter to keep this up. Your wife should RUN, she is clearly not a priority to you and not welcome in her own home," they continued.
About the writer
Ashley Gale is a Newsweek reporter based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Her focus is reporting on trends. She has covered trends, ... Read more