Dad Praised for Holding Son's $400K College Fund 'Hostage' After Graduation

A father has garnered support online after admitting to holding his son's college fund "hostage" upon discovering the son no longer wanted to attend.

The 48-year-old man, under the handle of u/Night_Owl63, took to Reddit's "Am I the A**hole" forum where users head to gain insight into their own personal dilemmas. He shared that he started the college fund with his wife as soon as they found out she was pregnant and added that they have so far raised around $400,000.

"We have never told our son what to do with his life. We may have guided his decisions as any good parent should, but since he was still young we let him make his own decisions," he wrote in the popular post. "We also never expected academic excellence or forced him into sports or artistic activities."

However, the son has decided since graduating high school this year that he does not want to attend college. The parents supported the decision, but the son continued to also reject trade schools or offers to work in the family business.

"He said that he planned to use his college fund to start a business of his own. I said that I will allow it only if he takes some business management, accounting and law classes in the nearby community college," wrote the father. "I said that I would pay them out of pocket and not from the fund, and then I would expect a well made business plan before I would give him the money. My wife agrees 100 percent."

The son however did not agree and called the parents a**holes "for holding his college fund hostage to make him do what we want."

This family's college fund is far above average, with parents saving $5,143 annually for their kid's college, according to Education Data Initiative. The average American reportedly aims to save around $55,000 for their child's college expenses, and 88 percent of families use parental savings accounts to help pay.

With such an above-average amount, it's no surprise the parents are cautious about just where the money will be going, especially when data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that 20 percent of small businesses end up failing within the first year.

It's because of these factors that Reddit users were left supporting the parents and their decision to keep the money "hostage" from the son.

"You're not holding it "hostage" for any selfish reason. You're trying to help him get and stay on a good track on life. You even offered to pay for the classes out of pocket and not from the college fund," read one comment with over 36,000 votes.

"You're trying to support him, but you're also trying to be realistic and make sure he knows what he's doing, so he doesn't make a $400k mistake."

Another user agreed, writing: "You and your wife are INCREDIBLY generous and have set super reasonable guidelines of how you'd like the money to be spent. Not to mention, if he started a business, there is a good chance it would not even take off, so I think it is INCREDIBLY generous for you to support that expense as well, and it seems wise to have a couple caveats in place if he chooses to go that route.

"I think your son is acting incredibly entitled, and doesn't realize how lucky he is to even have a college fund set aside for him. So many adults are drowning in student debt.... He needs some big-picture perspective," they added.

"It sounds to me like you're doing everything right in this scenario, and how awesome that you and your wife had the foresight and the means to contribute to a college fund for your son! Way to go, dad!"

Another commenter wrote: "It is not his college fun[d]. It is parents' money saved for his future. Already, you are being very open minded to not mandate college. The classes seem a bare minimum safety before handing a teenager almost half a million dollars.

"I think even after the classes, I would treat the fund as an investor. That only provides part of the funding, until the business meets certain benchmarks and then releases more funds."

Newsweek reached out to u/Night_Owl63 for comment.