Dad Pressuring Kids to Call His New Wife 'Mom' Slammed Online

A dad pressuring his two young sons to call his new wife "mom" is being criticized online.

In a post to Reddit on Thursday, the boys' mom (user u/Sad-Skill-6214) wrote that her sons hate staying with their father and his new family.

At first, she and her ex shared joint custody, but the agreement was amended after the judge ruled that the father was guilty of "parental alienation." Unsurprisingly, this led to a confrontation between the poster, her ex and his wife.

Parental Alienation

Although mothers are more likely to win custody battles than fathers, joint custody is becoming more common.

Studies by the American Psychological Association suggest that children who interact with both parents regularly have better self-esteem and fewer behavioral problems.

However, there are cases where joint custody is not in the child's best interest, such as when one parent is neglectful, abusive or suffering from a serious mental or physical health problem.

Parental alienation can have a large impact on custody cases, particularly if it's the mother petitioning for custody.

According to the law firm Clark Willmott, parental alienation is when one parent works to damage their child's relationship with the other, without "legitimate justification."

This can include bad-mouthing the other parent, encouraging the child to disrespect or disobey them, manipulating the child into believing they're a threat, or blaming them for what went wrong in the relationship.

A 2020 study found that a mother is more likely to lose a custody battle if she cites physical or sexual abuse as the reason. If the opposition team uses parental alienation as the defense, then the risk of losing custody doubles for the mother.

However, claims of abuse or parental alienation do not have the same effect on a father seeking custody, indicating a gender bias.

'You Did NOTHING Wrong'

In her post, Sad-Skill-6214 wrote that her ex-husband moved in with his wife Janessa and her two young children 18 months ago. Her sons—who are 8 and 10 years old—had difficulty adjusting to the situation, so she arranged for them to attend therapy.

Her ex was unhappy with the decision, as he "doesn't believe in therapy," but as the poster paid for the sessions and provided him with access to the therapist, there was nothing he could do about it.

Recently, both of her sons' therapists have expressed concern about her ex's household and the effect it is having on the boys.

The youngsters feel that their dad is trying to replace their mother with Janessa by forcing them to call her "mom." They are also made to call her children "brother and sister" and to endure "forced sibling time" that they do not enjoy.

"I don't know everything," the Redditor wrote. "The boys prefer to keep certain things between them and their therapists.

"But after a while the two therapists raised concerns about the environment at my ex's house.

"Having [had] no cooperation from him when both tried to speak to him, it was agreed I should try to amend the parenting time he gets."

In the custody trial, the judge sided in the poster's favor, dropping custody from 50/50 to visiting their dad every other weekend and on Wednesday evenings.

"Ex was not happy," the Redditor wrote. "He argued that he could provide them with a two-parent home.

"The judge said they were engaging in parental alienation by attempting to force the title of mom for his wife. He also told my ex that he should have cared more about his sons wellbeing and engaged with their therapists."

Unsurprisingly, her ex and Janessa are not pleased with the arrangement, accusing the poster of "disrupting" their household and complaining about the increase in child support he'll now have to pay.

Janessa is also pregnant and wants the boys to spend the weeks running up to the birth at their house—including joining them at the hospital while she's in labor.

The poster wrote: "I said no. So they decided to bring it up around Janessa's daughter, during a moment where the boys were not present, how it impacted their household and how much of a strain is on them.

"I told them I did not care about their household. I care about my sons and their best interest. The child heard. My ex and Janessa called me an a****** for saying that in front of her."

Reddit users agreed the poster was in the right, with the post receiving more than 7,000 upvotes and nearly 600 comments.

"They don't care about the boys," wrote KnittingFairy09113. "They want the picture perfect Brady Bunch house and aren't going to get it.

"The little girl heard the conversation because they chose to start it in front of you."

FleeshaLoo agreed, commenting: "Janessa sounds like she's either clueless or conniving because no woman should ever try to force another women's kids to transfer the moniker 'mom' to herself."

"You did NOTHING wrong," wrote hannahsflora. "Your focus is rightly on your sons, and if your ex and Janessa thought that cornering you in front of her daughter would make you cave, that's on them."

However, with a new baby on the way, some users were convinced her ex and Janessa planned to use the boys as "childcare."

"I was surprised to hear they wanted two extra children to take care of, until it clicked that those two children would probably be taking care of something to make her life easier, like watching the other two children," wrote TheGingaNinjah.

"Built in childcare and the money," commented MissTheWire. "Wondering if he married Janessa so he could claim custody on basis of 'two parent' household."

Newsweek has reached out to u/Sad-Skill-6214 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.