Dad's Reason for Refusing to Attend Son's Wedding Backed: 'Absurd'

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The internet is backing a man who is refusing to attend his son's wedding after he decided on a destination at the last minute, not giving guests enough time to prepare and save up for it.

In a post shared on Reddit in September, under the username u/Standard_Bit_2921, the dad explained that he's currently in the middle of an argument with his son after telling him that it is "absurd" to expect him to attend his destination wedding on such a short amount of notice.

His son was initially planning on getting married in the fall of 2024, but then suddenly changed his plans and decided to get married in January instead. As if that wasn't enough, he decided to get married overseas, in France.

He said: "We thought he was joking when it first happened because he has said so many destinations at this point. I also thought it [would] be in a year at least but the invites came today. It is in four months in France. He is looking to do a mini trip and apparently was able to book a small church in France for the whole thing."

man backed for refusing attend son's wedding
A file photo of a man at an airport watching his phone. A dad was backed online for refusing to attend his son destination wedding after he only gave him four months' notice. Getty Images

He tried to tell his son that he wouldn't be able to go because he's already used almost all of his paid time off. He added that he couldn't afford to buy plane tickets for the whole family, which includes five minors, who are still in school.

Destination weddings are a growing trend in the U.S. GroupTravel.org estimates that they make up one out of every four weddings. According to the website, the most popular wedding destinations outside of the country are Mexico, Hawaii, or the Caribbean.

Florence Ann Romano, a personal growth strategist and author of Build Your Village: A Guide to Finding Joy and Community in Every Stage of Life, told Newsweek that destination weddings are a trend that isn't going anywhere.

She said: "Not only that, but one thing that will never change about destination weddings is that they are more expensive for guests to attend. All guests invited - even family - need to weigh the pros and cons of making the commitment to attend. It should be understood by the betrothed couple that not everyone will be able to make the trip to celebrate. In this case, the father has decided it is not feasible and that decision will have to be respected.

"However, and also very important - the father should not make the couple feel bad about choosing France as their location; and shouldn't expect them to change their plans. That is their choice and it also has to be respected (as disappointed as he may be). A nice compromise could be that the couple, and the extended family or friends not able to attend, could celebrate in the States at a later date."

The post quickly went viral on the platform, and it has so far received over 9,500 upvotes and 1,000 comments.

One user, FalconJaeger, commented: "[Not The A******]. Whoever wants a destination wedding should be prepared that loved ones can't attend. Getting time off, finding accommodations, getting paperwork done, and being able to afford it are no small obstacles."

SunlitNomad wrote: "[Not The A******]. If you want to do a destination wedding you have to give people more than 4 months' notice, esp big families with kids and normal budgets. Diminishingpatience added: "[Not The A******]. He's completely out of touch with the reality of your life."

Newsweek, which reached out to u/Standard_Bit_2921 for comment via Reddit chat, couldn't verify the details of the case.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

About the writer

Maria Azzurra Volpe is a Newsweek Life & Trends reporter based in London, U.K. Her focus is reporting on everyday life topics and trending stories. She has covered Pet Care and Wildlife stories extensively. Maria joined Newsweek in 2022 from Contentive and had previously worked at CityWire Wealth Manager. She is a graduate of Kingston University and London Metropolitan University. You can get in touch with Maria by emailing m.volpe@newsweek.com. Languages: English and Italian.


Maria Azzurra Volpe is a Newsweek Life & Trends reporter based in London, U.K. Her focus is reporting on everyday ... Read more