Millennial Woman Shares Dating Horror Story: 'Is This A Passive Robbery?'

A new but brutal trend has hit the dating scene, and it has some asking if their date intentionally stole from them.

It's a dating dine and dash that is leaving many women paying for dates their love interest initially said he'd cover.

TikToker @AnisaLemonade took to the social media platform this week to share a dating horror story that ended with her paying out of pocket for the whole fancy dinner.

Anisa said she went on a date with a man at a nice restaurant only to be flabbergasted at the end of it.

"I knew the date was not going well because he kept asking questions about my job," Anisa said in her video. "He was confused as to how I could pay for my apartment."

The date was not a love match, she shared, and when the bill came, the man said he forgot his wallet.

"He's like, 'Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I forgot my wallet,'" Anisa said. "'Do you mind if I just Zelle you everything because I want to pay for the date?'"

Anisa said yes, paid the expensive bill and said goodbye to the man in question.

Once she was home though, Anisa had a surprise waiting for her: her date had unmatched her.

"Shocker, he never sent me the money," she said. "I don't know what to do at this point. I'm just so embarrassed that I think I should stop dating."

"Is this a passive robbery?" she asked viewers on the platform.

Dine and Dash Is Not Uncommon

Unfortunately, Anisa isn't alone in being a victim of a date dine and dash.

Jackie Pilossoph, the founder of Divorced Girl Smiling, said this behavior is not uncommon in today's dating world, and it's been heightened by the anonymity of dating apps.

"It's a dine and dash, essentially, and technology has allowed this behavior," Pilossoph told Newsweek. "Before dating apps, a person would have known where to find the date who didn't pay, she could go to his house or call him. Nowadays, it's easy to hide behind the apps."

But what drives the dine and dashers to ditch their dates with the bill?

Pilossoph believes it's a mix of the economy and personal character.

"Maybe a guy just wants to go to a nice restaurant and knows his date can afford it while he can't," Pilossoph said. "He figures if he likes her, he will pay her back. If not, he can easily block her."

While online interactions often embolden people to act without fear of consequences, it still comes down to an internal emotional issue.

"There's a thrill or power play for some, deeply rooted in psychological issues like a lack of empathy or a desire for control," Bayu Prihandito, the founder of Life Architekture and a certified psychology expert and life coach, told Newsweek. "With the current cost-of-living crisis, some may also find themselves in financial distress and choose to handle it inappropriately."

Legal Penalties May Apply to Repeat Offenders

On the dine and dasher's side, legal consequences may occur, especially after repeated offenses.

Paul Guadalupe Gonzales, 45, a California dine-and-dash dater, was charged with 10 felony charges accusing him of "taking financial advantage of women he met mostly through dating apps and websites."

In one case, he was accused of defrauding a woman out of more than $950 and would order several entrees, appetizers and drinks only to leave and never be heard from again.

These experiences can often lead to women feeling hopeless when it comes to finding love, but Pilossoph said those dating should still know it's not the norm.

"I'd like to think most men are still gentlemen, and my advice to women dating is, if it happens to you, it's a lesson and try not to worry too much or take it personally," Pilossoph said. "It's a huge flaw of the perpetrator and has nothing to do with you."

Still, the increasing incidents of dating dine and dashes point to a growing problem between how people connect, especially on dating apps, where a lack of communication and respect are common.

"It's indicative of how disposable connections can seem in our digital age, where moving on without real-world repercussions is easy," Prihandito said.

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