Decision Not To Abort Severely Disabled Baby Girl Sparks Debate

A man has taken to Reddit to confess he has a severely disabled daughter who he has never met, after informing her mom he was going to "walk away" after she decided not to have an abortion.

In the site's TrueOffMyChest forum, the man, going by username Delicious_Appeal_369, decided to come clean about his feelings towards his daughter.

He explained he and his childhood sweetheart discovered she was pregnant six years ago, when they were 20, and he admitted: "The idea of us getting married, starting a family, and going from best friends to husband and wife was exhilarating."

However, soon after they discovered the pregnancy wasn't "viable"—tests revealed "the fetus suffered from multiple chromosomal/genetic defects and was not developing normally."

In the post, the dad-to-be claims his girlfriend was recommended not to continue with the pregnancy for the sake of her own health.

From that point things soured, as he admitted: "I don't know why, but my ex was insistent on seeing it through. I still to this day do not know why. She and her whole family were not religious. She was liberal in many of her views and always seemed to be pro-choice. Yet, she refused incredibly adamantly to get an abortion, despite them being available to her."

After dating for four years, he walked away when she was 20 weeks, saying: "Another doctor recommended she abort as they were incredibly worried for her own health I told her I could no longer participate in whatever game she was playing. I did not want to play caretaker to a heavily disabled child at the age of 20."

He's never met his daughter but stood by his decision, saying he hasn't regretted it once.

The dad shared more about his daughter, who has a life expectancy of around 10, continuing: "As expected, my ex had incredible health complications towards the end and had to have an emergency C-section at 24 weeks.

"My daughter was born with a multitude of issues. At the age of five, she cannot speak, walk, eat on her own, and must be attended to 24 hours a day. My ex dropped out of college only weeks after and since then has lived with her parents being a nurse 24/7 with her mother.

"If I had stayed in that situation I would have killed myself long before this point was reached, so I can respect my ex for sticking with it."

While he has no contact, he pays child support and 75 per cent of her medical costs not covered by insurance. He does still talk to his ex, and provides emotional support, saying: "It pains me every day to see what could have been and what had been."

The dad says he has repeatedly told his ex to put their child into a supported living facility, but she refuses.

After a friend recently learned of his daughter, he reflected on his decision, adamantly saying: "I told my ex that day we broke up, that I would never be a part of the child's life.

"I would not support her or this game she was playing by bringing a child into this world to suffer. I would not throw my life away with her.

"And I can honestly say that I do not regret it one bit. In a just world, my daughter would never have suffered such the tragic fate of being born into this world. That, is my only regret here."

His honestly sparked a fierce debate online, as NothingAndNow111 wrote: "I can't see bringing that child into the world knowing how ill they'll be as anything other than intense selfishness and cruelty. Poor child."

But A_Huge_Turd raged: "You are a coward. Last time I checked it required two people to make a child. Abandoning your responsibilities as a father and husband is atrocious. We don't get to choose what are children end up as but by God we are responsible for them. You are so selfish that you were going to abandon your own flesh and blood and your partner because of what you want to do. Life is hard get over it. You made a life now take care of it.

"You want to know what's really hard: taking care of a disabled child when the father doesn't want to be involved because they're being a selfish ass. Do you think your parents went through life without a struggle? What if they had just put the gun to your head and blew your brains out simply because well they want to go out and do something or just abandon you? Man up and take some responsibility for your actions. Men don't run away from challenges, boys do."

MatVayuthought: "I'm going to sound cruel now. But the only heartbreaking thing was birthing that child, and her living, in a state of severe suffering, for five years going."

Louloubelle0312 commented: "Not cruel at all. I think in reality, this is a much kinder attitude. Having an abortion is not easy, in spite of the anti-abortionists attitude. But it is sometimes the best idea."

Abortion is legal in the U.S. following the a 1973 Supreme Court ruling in Roe v. Wade making access to safe and legal abortions a constitutional right.

But, it remains an incredibly contentious issue, with the recent passing of S.B. 8 in Texas, known as the Texas Heartbeat Bill, prohibiting terminations from around the six-week mark.

Euthanasia, another topic touched on by Redditors discussing the man's predicament, is described by the University of Missouri School of Medicine as "the practice of ending the life of a patient to limit the patient's suffering. The patient in question would typically be terminally ill or experiencing great pain and suffering."

While euthanasia is illegal, states have varying laws governing physician-assisted suicide.

Website ProCon.org, part of the Encyclopedia Britannica, says: "9 states (CA, CO, HI, ME, NJ, NM, OR, VT, and WA) and DC legalized physician-assisted suicide via legislation. 1 state (MT) has legal physician-assisted suicide via court ruling."

Newsweek reached out to Delicious_Appeal_369 for comment.