Woman Wanting to 'Divorce' Sister Following Business Fallout Sparks Debate

A post about a woman who wants to cut ties with her sister for good following a "massive fallout," has gone viral on Mumsnet, the U.K.-based online forum.

In a post shared on Mumsnet, user Namechangefail123 asked for advice on writing a "divorce letter" to her sister, who has apologized since the fallout, but "I just want to go separate ways from my sister. I don't hate her, but I think my life would be better if I never had to see her again," she said.

"Unfortunately we still have to manage our parents' estate which is the main tricky part about this," the user added.

The sibling relationship, considered "the longest lasting relationship for most people," may become "increasingly relevant for older adults and may be linked to their well-being," according to a March 2020 study in the peer-reviewed Journal of Family Psychology.

The study found that "sister-sister pairs had warmer sibling relationships than other gender-compositions," while sibling relationships among older people were characterized by "high levels of warmth and low levels of conflict and parental favoritism."

Sibling conflict and parental favoritism were both positively associated with symptoms of depression, anxiety, hostility and loneliness and "sibling warmth" was negatively correlated with loneliness.

The study said loneliness "partially mediated" the association between sibling relationship quality and the well-being of older adults.

The user in the latest Mumsnet post said the fallout with her sister has been over the family business, which is under the original poster's name.

"The problem is that my parents don't have anything in their names, and the family business sale is imminent," the user said, noting "that does need to be sorted in the next 12 months and does require for both of us to be involved."

The tax and legal matters of the issue have been "more or less sorted," but there's no agreement yet on "how the money [from the sale of the family business] should be split."

However, the user said her "parents' mess is only part" of the reason she wants to cut ties with her sister. "I've always had a fractured relationship with her. Every single time she's always been nosey and critical....

"I simply don't like my sister and if we were strangers I'm sure we wouldn't be friends at all...our personalities are just completely incompatible and I've always asked to be as distant as possible (both literally and metaphorically)...I don't have many happy memories for the past 15+ years. Only arguments and conflict."

The user said her letter aims to "explain that I don't hate her, just that we're very different people and that we can't have a 'standard' sisterly relationship, but...that we should try to be as civil as possible" to settle the parents' estate.

Several Mumsnet users advised against writing a letter to the sister, suggesting it would only "create drama and more contact" with the sibling.

User Threelittlelambs said: "Actions speak louder than words. Grin and bear the estate work and walk away. You don't have to take calls or respond to text messages. I wouldn't write a letter."

Yesthatismychildsigh said: "Writing a letter just seems immature, attention seeking, passive aggressive and looking for trouble/drama. Just finish sorting the estate and drop contact, like an adult."

Hoppinggreen agreed, stating: "No need for dramatic letter writing. Just be professional and deal with necessary matters only then go nc [no contact]."

User gingertoast noted that: "The only purpose a letter would serve is to create drama and more contact. Ascertain your mothers wishes for her estate, get will written accordingly and carry on with your life."

User goldfinchonthelawn also advised against writing a letter but also didn't think the original poster should completely cut ties with her sister.

"Sorting out a family estate is an extremely emotional time and tempers run high and people don't behave at their best, or can overreact to minor issues," wrote goldfinchonthelawn.

The user added: "Take the very long view. If you have, generally got on, then just distance yourself for as long as you need and get back in touch when you are ready. IMO [in my opinion], unless someone is actually malign - a bully, violent, a narcissist or an addict, then it's better to keep on speaking terms with family members even if they are a bit difficult. No one is perfect."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of this case.