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A woman on Reddit has described a challenging family situation regarding money and inheritance after receiving a "not great medical diagnosis and prognosis."
User Top_Juggernaut_551, who is 38, said that her parents and brother have taken offense at how she has decided to leave her money after she dies.
"So I have sat down with my husband and figured out my will," she said. "Obviously he will be receiving most of the estate. He has to take care of himself and our kids. He and I both have decent if not spectacular careers and he likes his work."
Describing her brother as a "D-bag," she said he is an addict, has taken a lot of their parents' money and attention and has "abandoned" his daughters, who are now with the parents. "I tried to get custody of them but I am not a member of their church and my parents cut me off when I left home to get a college education instead of staying home and helping them like a good daughter should," she wrote.
She continued: "Their congregation helped them hire a lawyer to keep the girls away from me. But strangely enough after the girls were out of my reach they stopped getting any financial support."
She said that she is leaving her nieces money that will go only toward their postsecondary education, "If it isn't used for that by the time they are 25 it will be donated to a charity that my parents hate. It advocates for women and reproductive rights."
Despite the original poster's (OP) diagnosis, she said her parents are calling her an a******, and her brother is calling her the same thing "for depriving his kids of help."
"My parents won't relent and are saying that they will challenge my will if I leave it like this. Good luck. My lawyer is confident that I have protected the money," she wrote.
"Leaving money in a trust for minors with strings attached is super common exactly because of this type of situation," Jack Hales, a Texas-based probate attorney, told Newsweek. "A lot of people have strained relationships with family members but want to provide for younger descendants of that person. Just leaving money to a parent to manage could mean mismanagement, outside the intended use of funds, by that parent.
"Also, even if the parent was totally fine leaving one person a gift with only the implicit understanding of the uses, [it] gets messy if that person you left money to dies," Hales continued. "What happens if I give my sibling cash to take care of nieces and nephews and then my sibling dies?"
The sibling's estate plan, or the lack of one, dictates what happens, Hales said. "Having strings attached in the form of a trust is exactly how you avoid all those issues."
His law partner, Ryan Sellers of Hales and Sellers PLLC, said, "Contests can be expensive, whether regarding a trust or a will. I expect OP's attorney is preparing a file that will support a strong case at trial, or summary disposition, when the time comes. Funny enough, OP's Reddit post could be evidence supporting her trust's validity, if it is indeed disputed."
On Reddit's AmItheA****** page, users voted that the poster was not one.
Curious-One4595 said, "NTA. You are amazing. Don't be guilted by your cruel fundie parents, your...substance abusing brother, or random busybody family kibitzers who want to tell you how to spend your money. You found a way to benefit your nieces that is loving and kind. Now focus on yourself. Hugs."
Newsweek has reached out to Top_Juggernaut_551 for comment.
If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured in Newsweek.
About the writer
Leonie Helm is a Newsweek Life Reporter and is based in London, UK. Her focus is reporting on all things ... Read more