Everything Prince Harry Said About Kate Middleton and Meghan Tensions

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Since Prince Harry and Meghan Markle started dating in 2016, speculation about the duchess' relationship with sister-in-law, Kate Middleton, has filled news columns and social media threads.

Despite presenting a united front in the months after her marriage into the royal family in May 2018, soon afterwards tabloid stories began to suggest that Meghan and Kate were not getting along as well as Harry or the public had hoped.

After stories claimed that Meghan had made Kate cry, a divide between the Sussexes and Prince William and Kate became apparent, with Harry confirming in an interview that the brothers were now on different paths.

After splitting their offices and moving out of Kensington Palace, Harry and Meghan announced their desire to step back as senior royals, setting in motion a chain of events that led to their eventual total split from the monarchy and a move to the U.S.

Prince Harry, Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton
The Duke of Sussex (left) in London on April 4, 2017. The Princess of Wales (right, in red) and Duchess of Sussex at Sandringham, England, on December 25, 2018. Harry wrote about tensions between his... John Phillips/Getty Images/Stephen Pond/Getty Images

In her bombshell interview with Oprah Winfrey a year after the split, Meghan confirmed for the first time publicly that she and Kate had been at odds with one another, something Harry later detailed in his 2023 memoir Spare.

The book exposed a number of royal tensions and revelations which were previously unknown to the public, though members of the royal family and Buckingham Palace adopted a "no comment" position, not responding to the claims or allegations made about them.

Here, Newsweek looks at how Harry described early tensions between Kate and Meghan before his split from the monarchy in Spare.

Dinner Differences

In Spare, Prince Harry described to readers at length his early relationship with Meghan, from their first date at Soho House in London to their candlelit engagement in the grounds of Kensington Palace.

In one chapter, the prince revealed how Meghan and his sister-in-law, Kate, had first been introduced, telling readers that though he felt the princess liked his future wife, there were differences evident during the meal they had together.

After appearing to cast doubt on Meghan's gesture of offering William "homeopathic" medicine for a cold, Kate's apparent difference in style to Meghan was noted by Harry.

"Both of them seemed to notice," he wrote. "Meg: ripped jeans, barefoot. Kate: done up to the nines."

Prince Harry in Spare

"We'd had them over for dinner during one of Meg's visits, and Meg cooked, and everything was good. Willy had a cold: he was sneezing and coughing, and Meg ran upstairs to get him some of her homeopathic cure-alls. Oregano oil, turmeric. He seemed charmed, moved, though Kate announced to the table that he'd never take such unconventional remedies.

"We talked about Wimbledon that night, and 'Suits,' and Willy and Kate weren't brave enough to admit to being superfans. Which was sweet. The only possibly discordant note I could think of was the marked difference in how the two women dressed, which both of them seemed to notice. Meg: ripped jeans, barefoot. Kate: done up to the nines. No big deal, I thought"

Lip Gloss Grimace

In a more apparent moment of tension, Harry wrote that a culture clash took place just before Meghan and Kate took part in their first joint engagement for the Royal Foundation Forum in February 2018.

"Meg asked to borrow Kate's lip gloss," he said, noting that it was an "American thing, Meg forgot hers."

After asking Kate if she could use one she'd brought, Harry wrote that the princess obliged but "grimaced" as Meghan put some onto her finger and applied it to her lips.

They "should've been able to laugh about" the incident, he said, but instead it "left a little mark."

"Days later, controversy. Something about Meg showing support for #metoo,
and Kate not showing support—via their outfits? I think that was the gist, though who can say? It wasn't real. But I think it had Kate on edge, while putting her and everyone else on notice that she was now going to be compared to, and forced to compete with, Meg.

"All this came on the heels of an awkward moment backstage. Meg asked to borrow Kate's lip gloss. An American thing. Meg forgot hers, worried she needed some, and turned to Kate for help. Kate, taken aback, went into her handbag and reluctantly pulled out a small tube. Meg squeezed some onto her finger and applied it to her lips. Kate grimaced. Small clash of styles, maybe? Something we should've been able to laugh about soon after. But it left a little mark. And then the press sensed something was up and tried to turn it into something bigger. Here we go, I thought sorrowfully."

Prince Harry, Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton
(Left to right) The Duke and Duchess of Sussex with the Princess of Wales during the Royal Foundation Forum in London on February 28, 2018. Harry wrote that tensions arose before the appearance when Kate... Chris Jackson - WPA Pool/Getty Images

Bridesmaid's Dress Saga

Perhaps the most famous and widely written about chapter in Meghan's relationship with Kate concerns their argument over the bridesmaid's dress for Princess Charlotte ahead of the 2018 royal wedding.

In late 2018, British tabloids reported that Meghan had made Kate cry in an altercation over the dress. In her 2021 Oprah interview, Meghan said it was the other way around.

In his memoir, Harry presented his side of the story, in which he claimed that Kate had indeed made Meghan cry after complaining about the fit of the dress while his soon-to-be wife was struggling with royal wedding planning and handling issues with her father.

"'Charlotte's dress is too big, too long, too baggy. She cried when she tried it on at home,' Kate said," according to Harry, going on to add: "The dresses need to be remade."

The prince wrote that he "arrived home and found Meg on the floor. Sobbing," and that despite the tension he told Meghan that "Kate hadn't meant any harm."

"Indeed the next morning Kate came by with flowers and a card that said she was sorry," he wrote. "Meg's best friend, Lindsay, was in the kitchen when she turned up. Simple misunderstanding, I told myself."

"Meg had a text from Kate. There was a problem with the dresses for the bridesmaids, apparently. They needed altering. The dresses were French couture, hand-sewn from measurements only. So it wasn't a big shock that they might need altering. Meg didn't reply to Kate straightaway. Yes, she had endless wedding-related texts, but mostly she was dealing with the chaos surrounding her father. So the next morning she texted Kate that our tailor was standing by. At the Palace. His name was Ajay. This wasn't sufficient. They set up a time to speak that afternoon

"'Charlotte's dress is too big, too long, too baggy. She cried when she tried it
on at home,' Kate said.

"'Right, and I told you the tailor has been standing by since eight a.m. Here. At KP. Can you take Charlotte to have it altered, as the other moms are doing?'

"'No, all the dresses need to be remade.' Her own wedding dress designer agreed, Kate added. Meg asked if Kate was aware of what was going on right now. With her father. Kate said she was well aware, but the dresses. 'And the wedding is in four days.'"

Baby Brain

After the wedding, Harry revealed that tensions with both William and Kate continued, with issues such as Easter gifts and seating charts transforming into bigger problems.

At a special summit hosted at Kensington Palace, Harry told readers that things came to a head between his wife and sister-in-law as Kate scolded Meghan for saying she had "baby brain" during her pregnancy with Prince Louis.

"'You hurt my feelings,'" Kate reportedly told an oblivious Meghan, who apologized, saying it was "'not a big deal, it's baby brain. Because you'd just had a baby. It's hormones.'"

To this, Kate allegedly told Meghan she wasn't "close enough" to "talk about my hormones," which was backed up by William who pointed at her, saying: "It's rude, Meghan. It's not what's done here in Britain."

After a tense moment when Meghan asked William to remove his finger from her face, Harry wrote that things de-escalated and they hugged before returning to their separate homes.

"Kate looked out into the garden, gripping the edges of the leather so tightly
that her fingers were white, and said she was owed an apology. Meg asked: 'For what?'

"'You hurt my feelings, Meghan.'

"'When? Please tell me'.

"'I told you I couldn't remember something and you said it was my hormones.'

"'What are you talking about?'

"Kate mentioned a phone call in which they'd discussed the timing of wedding
rehearsals. Meg said: 'Oh, yes! I remember: You couldn't remember something, and I said it's not a big deal, it's baby brain. Because you'd just had a baby. It's
hormones.'

"Kate's eyes widened: 'Yes. You talked about my hormones. We're not close
enough for you to talk about my hormones!'

"Meg's eyes got wide too. She looked genuinely confused. 'I'm sorry I talked
about your hormones. That's just how I talk with my girlfriends.'

"Willy pointed at Meg. 'It's rude, Meghan. It's not what's done here in Britain.'

"'Kindly take your finger out of my face.'"

James Crawford-Smith is Newsweek's royal reporter, based in London. You can find him on X (formerly Twitter) at @jrcrawfordsmith and read his stories on Newsweek's The Royals Facebook page.

Do you have a question about King Charles III, William and Kate, Meghan and Harry, or their family that you would like our experienced royal correspondents to answer? Email royals@newsweek.com. We'd love to hear from you.

About the writer

James Crawford-Smith is a Newsweek Royal Reporter, based in London, U.K. His focus is reporting on the British royal family and royal fashion. He has covered contemporary and historic issues facing King Charles III, Queen Camilla, Prince William, Kate Middleton, Prince Harry, Meghan Markle, the late Queen Elizabeth II and Princess Diana. James joined Newsweek in 2022 having previously contributed to titles such as The Lady, Majesty Magazine and Drapers. He also spent a number of years working with the curatorial department at Historic Royal Palaces, based at Kensington Palace, and contributed to the exhibitions Fashion Rules: Restyled (2016) and Diana: Her Fashion Story (2017). He also undertook private research projects with the Royal Ceremonial Dress Collection. He is a graduate of University College London and Central Saint Martins, where he studied fashion history. Languages: English.

You can get in touch with James by emailing j.crawfordsmith@newsweek.com.


James Crawford-Smith is a Newsweek Royal Reporter, based in London, U.K. His focus is reporting on the British royal family ... Read more