'Excuse': Internet Backed Employee Who Received Warning for Helping Mother

Hundreds of internet commenters showed empathy for one employee who said they received a verbal warning for giving their mother a ride to a doctor's appointment, causing them to arrive late to work.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/antiwork, Redditor u/dg2nice4u lamented over the fact that they were accosted for being late, while their co-workers with children rarely receive the same treatment. Titled, "Can't use the kids excuse," the viral post has received 28,000 votes and more than 1,600 comments.

Writing that their co-workers are all older than them, u/dg2nice4u explained the frustrating circumstances that lead to their receiving a verbal warning from their employer.

"My co-workers always run late because of their kids [and] leave early because of their kids and never get in trouble," the Redditor wrote. "But me, I run 30 min late because of my mom who needs a last minute ride to the doctor and I get a verbal warning."

"F**k you," they added, emphatically. "Just because I have no kids and husband does not mean I don't have family obligations as well."

When COVID-19 first caused the United States to shut down in March 2020, many tech companies (and companies in other industries) used large profit margins to provide employees with greater benefits, including extra time off for employees with children.

Despite rising child care costs, the temporary (or permanent) closure of schools and daycares, and the obvious need for parents to take on even more responsibility, employees without children were immediately outraged.

In an article titled, "Parents got more time off. Then the backlash started," The New York Times examined numerous companies at which employees with children received more time off, and other added benefits, than employees without children.

Reporting that childless employees at Facebook and Twitter became disgruntled with the uneven paid time off allowances, The New York Times included a quote from Facebook Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg, reportedly issued during a video conference held in August 2020.

"I do believe parents have certain challenges," Sandberg told Facebook employees. "But everyone has challenges, and those challenges are very, very real."

One of the challenges faced by childless employees throughout the pandemic is a greater workload, to compensate for parents who have had to use extra time off to care for their children.

In some cases, this shift in workload has caused severe turmoil, and animosity between employees based on parental status.

"If the paid work that parents can't manage falls to the childless—who already have full workloads...of course there is going to be resentment and anger," journalist Jill Filipovic wrote in an opinion piece for CNN.

"That's not a lack of empathy or a sense of entitlement," Filipovic added. "It's a correct assessment of the fact that your workplace is exploiting you because of your parental status, and pitting parents against non-parents instead of solving the problem at hand: Too much work and not enough people to do it."

Today, two years since COVID-related cancellations marked the beginning of the pandemic in the United States, that sentiment remains among American workers.

In a comment left on the viral Reddit post, which has received more than 3,000 votes, Redditor u/Illuminator007 said that employees without children are rarely upset that employees with children are awarded greater leniency and benefits. Instead, employees without children want a similar level of leniency for themselves, to accommodate their personal lives in a similar manner.

"Let's be clear. The problem here is *not* that people with children are afforded a bit of flexibility," u/Illuminator007 wrote. "The problem is that this flexibility is not extended to others."

"I think people's frustration would be better directed if it was towards the employers who pick and choose what obligations are valid instead of towards parents with [legitimate] obligations," another commenter added.

Amid a sea of comments recounting similar experiences to the one originally described by u/dg2nice4u, Redditor u/GuadDidUs described themselves as a "gymnast" when it comes to balancing work and parenting, and said that vitriol between employees is what allows lopsided power structures to continue to exist.

"I'm a millennial with kids and I need flexibility," they wrote. "I take work calls from the soccer field, I let my bosses know I have to leave at 5 but can be back online at 8."

"People have responsibilities and it's a shame that people assume your only responsibility is to your kids," they continued. "But that's not [the] working parents' fault. That's a system that demands your life and loyalty to them over everything else."