Family Member Praised for Using Spray Bottle to 'Train' Nephew

Commenters praised an anonymous poster for the way they decided to discipline their sister's young child: by spraying him with water.

The Original Poster (OP), known as u/RealFun5865, posted about the incident in Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received more than 18,000 upvotes and 2,100 comments. The post can be found here.

Disciplining A Sibling's Child

According to Dr. Karen Gail Lewis, a family therapist and author of Siblings: The Ghosts From ChildhoodThat Haunt Your Love and Work, involvement in a family member's life depends on the relationship.

"More than anything, the relationship between the siblings matters. If they have a real close relationship, there are ways to bring up the issue gently," Dr. Lewis told Newsweek.

But if the relationship is bad, then there should be no conversation regarding how they do anything in their life, including how they parent.

"If you have a good relationship, you can open up the discussion," Dr. Lewis said. "Do not say, 'You should do it this way.' Nobody likes to hear that. "But if you do not have a good relationship, it's none of your business."

However, Dr. Lewis said that if the family members are guests in your own home, you have the right to lay down your own boundaries.

"When it's in your home, you have the right to say what you want," Dr. Lewis said. "It is certainly okay to do that. But expect the child's parent to be angry. But you do have the right to say, 'In this house, you can't.'"

'AITA?'

In the post titled "AITA for using a spray bottle to train my nephew," the OP referred to their 6-year-old nephew as a "rainbow baby."

"My sister had a lot of trouble conceiving and he was kind of a miracle. She was 42 when she finally managed to give birth," the post read. "She was on bed rest for the last three months of her pregnancy."

While the OP said they love their nephew, they said he is "a monster" and throws tantrums often.

"He screams if he loses playing a game. He refuses to understand why he can't ride my seven year old St Bernard," the post read. "And he thinks any food is his."

The OP said their husband loves cookies but is diabetic. Recently, they discovered a bakery that sells sugar-free cookies that are "amazing" but expensive.

"I budget for them because my husband deserves his treats when he gets home from work," the post read.

'Stood My Ground'

Recently when the OP's sister was over with her son, he was running around the house "like a squirrel" before he fell and started crying. After his mom picked him up, he spotted the cookies on the counter and started asking for them.

"I said no that they were special cookies for his uncle," the post read. "I offered him a regular cookie or some fruit but he got all upset that he was being denied."

After their sister asked again, the OP gave him one cookie, but after the boy took a bite, he said it was yucky and threw it on the ground.

"A little while later he came back and asked for another cookie. I said no," the post read. "My sister said to just give him one. I told her no, he wasted the last one. He started screaming that he wanted a cookie. I stood my ground. He eventually went away."

But the third time he came into the kitchen, he did not ask for permission and instead went for another cookie.

"I grabbed the spray bottle I use to keep the cat off the counter," the post read. "I gave him a couple of squirts and said 'NO.' He got startled and ran away."

The OP's sister said her son wasn't an animal that could be "reprimanded with water," but the next time he came into the kitchen, the OP grabbed the bottle again.

"He didn't even look at the counter and he went away," the post read. "My sister called my parents to tell on me for treating her kid like that. They are mad at me for not giving in to the poor baby."

'Does The Spray Bottle Work On Your Sister?'

More than 2,100 users commented on the post, many praising the OP for spraying the child with water.

"NTA. Does the spray bottle work on your sister?" one user asked, receiving more than 36,500 upvotes.

"A golden NTA that I will vigorously and aggressively defend," another user said. "And. Advice. If your sister can't get her kid to understand that your house has rules for a reason, and that you're unable to afford, financially, or from a stress perspective, her excessive spoiling of that kid, simply ban them from coming over."

"Soft NTA buuut perhaps it's time to start setting some boundaries with your sister," another said. "It sounds like she is enabling the poor behavior and from my pov it's more her fault than his."

"It's not the kids fault, it's the mother's. So when she fails to discipline him, grab the spray bottle and squirt her until she controls her kid. NTA."

"NTA. So I'm a behavior teacher and this is bad, and we don't do this, but it's hilarious and I can't stop giggling about it," another said. "You are living the dream."

"NTA. Your method of enforcing boundaries may be a little unorthodox, but it was effective (and hilarious)," another said.

"Now it's time to set some boundaries with your sister too," another said. "If she tries to get you to give in to her kid's tantrums, tell her sweetly that the poor widdle baby must be tired/overwhelmed/not feeling well and she needs to take him home. If she argues, you have a spray bottle and you know how to use it."

Newsweek reached out to u/RealFun5865 for comment.

Other Family Conflicts

In another viral Reddit post, a woman was praised for kicking her brother and his wife out of her home and one man was supported for kicking his grieving sister out of his car.

One man was also applauded for refusing to help his estranged family when they asked him for money.