Woman Dragged for Reading Step-Daughters Diary and Wanting To 'Punish' Her

A mom refusing to punish her teenage daughter for writing how she feels about her stepmom in her personal diary has been backed online. The stepmom secretly read the teenager's diary, and complained to the father about what she found there.

The mom shared her story in a Reddit post last Sunday, under the username u/giannalu2929, explaining that her 13-year-old daughter, Isabella, has a personal diary so she could write how she feels, and she and her ex-partner agreed never to read it "unless it's something very serious."

But last week, the girl's stepmother, Naz, secretly went through her diary when she left it at her dad's house and found that she's been writing about how she feels she's losing her father to Naz's children, which she took as "badmouthing".

Article 16 of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), states that children have a right to privacy, and adults should respect it: "No child shall be subjected to arbitrary or unlawful interference with his or her privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to unlawful attacks on his or her honor and reputation."

According to a study by Alexandra H. Solomon published in Psychology Today, early privacy violations, such as reading a child's diary, have a lasting impact on the individual and may compromise later self-reflection and intimacy.

Solomon wrote: "Privacy is intimacy-promoting because our connection with ourselves lays the foundation for our connection with others. Intimacy cannot be built when there are parts of the self that are being intentionally hidden from view."

The stepmom was "furious" at what the teen wrote and told her boyfriend that his daughter hurt her feelings. So, as a punishment, she asked his ex-partner, Isabella's mother, to not buy her the new cellphone that she's been wanting and saving for, for a long time, and told her she should at least punish her child for "badmouthing".

The post, which was first shared on the r/AmItheA**hole subreddit, has received almost 7,000 upvotes and 1,300 comments.

The top comment, which has gathered over 14,000 upvotes, says: "[NotTheA**hole], get her the cellphone. That woman was WHOLLY out of line to read her diary. What a manipulative move to position herself as the victim. I feel for your daughter."

A second user said: "Talk about an invasion of privacy and the fact that he just proved he cares more about Naz's feelings and not his daughters. Op your [NotTheA**hole] get that girl the cellphone."

Another wrote: "[NotTheA**hole]. I don't know why he's complaining about co-parenting when you're the only one parenting here. He should be talking seriously to his new wife about how it is not okay to go through his daughter's diary and about how together they can make his daughter feel more welcome and integrated.

"You never punish a child for legitimate feelings, especially ones they kept private. Jake is an asshole and is failing as a parent. Naz is a poor, abusive, sneaky, invasive, self-centered excuse for a human being and should be ashamed of herself."

And a fourth added: "I HATE it when parents punish kids for expressing their honest feelings instead of actually trying to address the real issue! OP, [NotTheA**hole], and keep standing up for your daughter since her father obviously doesn't give a s***!"

Newsweek reached out to u/giannalu2929 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.