Man Refusing To Attend Grandchild's Baptism With No Excuse Splits Views

A woman has described her hurt feelings over her fathers-in-law's blunt rejection of an invite to his granddaughter's baptism.

In the Mumsnet post, user mumofbe explains that he attended the baptism of their oldest child and "For context, this will be the first gathering that we have had since my DD's arrival. My MIL will be coming alone.

"My FIL has declined the invite because he doesn't want to be there. No further information given. He attended the christening of our eldest."

She explains that she finds it strange, "not so much that he doesn't want to be there, it's the fact that he bluntly told us that he doesn't want to be there.

"I get that we all have events that we don't want to attend, but surely the art is to diplomatically turn down the invite. To simply bluntly state that you don't want to be there seems like an attempt to intentionally offend someone."

Describing her relationship with her in-laws as "pretty neutral," she goes on to say that her husband "has lost his rag with me because he thinks that I'm making it all about me.

"He said that his dad has made up his mind, he will have his reasons and we should respect them, no further questions. Honestly though, I feel a bit hurt and it alters the way that I feel about my FIL now. My husband cannot see what my problem is with this."

While it's impossible to ascertain exactly what this father-in-law's reasons for saying no are, there is certainly an art to saying refusing to do something.

In an article for Forbes entitled: "The Art of Saying No," writer Travis Bradberry suggests you "sleep on it."

He explains: "Even if you feel like saying yes (and certainly if you're having doubts), ask for a day to think about it before providing an answer. It's going to be much easier to say no once you've had time to consider all of your commitments and whether the item in question is a realistic addition to your schedule."

The article also suggests cushioning the blow of a no by sandwiching it between two yeses by making it more "palatable," for example, "if your boss asks you to work on the weekend, but you have family commitments you cannot break, explain these commitments to your boss (the first yes), how that prevents you from coming in on the weekend (the no), and finish by confirming your commitment to the company and your work (the final yes) by asking if there are other ways you can contribute that don't require you to come in that weekend."

Youdoyoutoday joked, "He was very rude but at least picking out his retirement home has just become that bit easier!"

DowntonCrabby said, "YABU just try and focus on the day and don't create a problem where there currently is not one."

BertieBotts commented, "I think it's rude of him to directly say he doesn't want to come, but it's not unreasonable to turn down an invite because you don't want to! Just be polite about it and don't say a reason."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.