'Financially Controlling': Wife Defended for Emptying Shared Bank Account

Members of a popular internet forum were quick to defend one woman who drained a bank account she shares with her husband after a month of nagging and insults.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/ZookeepergameHuge627 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said she is unemployed for the first time since she was a teenager and revealed the final barb that pushed her to remove all of her money from the couple's shared account.

Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for pulling all my money from the account after he refused to stop making comments about me getting a job?" the post has received more than 7,000 votes and 700 comments in the last nine hours.

Explaining that she lost her job a month ago, the original poster said that she's "been searching endlessly" for a new position that will provide a steady income.

The original poster also said that, though she's been employed since she was 15, her husband has gone through numerous employment "dry spells," missing multiple months of work at a time.

"[He] hardly ever sticks with it for more than [six] months before he quits and takes a 'break,'" OP wrote.

Currently, the original poster said her husband works a steady job and just received a promotion. But while his promotion was accompanied with a pay raise, the original poster said the extra money has not provided any reprieve from her stressful job search—especially since he began using her car on a regular basis.

"Since he got his promotion he has been breathing down my neck about me getting a job," OP wrote. "He sees all the applications I've sent out and still comments on it, as if that will help."

"His comments are really starting to p**s me off and I've told him several times to get off my case," OP continued. "I have money stashed so I don't need money from him."

"But he made a comment the other day saying 'You need a f**king job' and it was the last straw so I...[withdrew] every penny I had in the bank account and [stuck] it in an account he can't touch," OP added. "He flips out and says I'm being financially controlling when in all actuality it's him."

Earlier this year, a survey conducted by CreditCards.com revealed that in the U.S., more than 40 percent of adults who are married, in a civil partnership or living together, exclusively use joint bank accounts.

The survey also revealed that, while nearly 50 percent of couples older than 42 are more likely to opt for joint bank accounts, only 31 percent of younger millennials follow the same path and 45 percent of people ages 26-32 choose to keep their finances completely separate.

Despite a recent CNBC report, which showed that couples who combine and communicate about finances are more likely to stay together, money is often—as the age old saying goes—the root of evil.

In many cases, joint bank accounts limit autonomy, sometimes creating lopsided financial dynamics between partners and, in turn, poisoning relationships.

"No matter your age or how long you've been in a relationship, it's crucial to maintain at least some financial autonomy," personal finance website Bankrate reports. "While joint accounts are convenient, not having any separate accounts can lead to certain issues."

"When you fully rely on the other person to financially support you and have no accounts of your own, there may be a significant power imbalance," Bankrate adds. "You may also feel like your financial well-being depends on your relationship, which is never a healthy dynamic."

On multiple occasions in her viral Reddit post, the original poster assured that she has enough money to survive a few more unemployed months, but said that after she withdrew her portion of the couple's shared account, her husband was left with less than $1,000.

Throughout the viral post's comment section, Redditors labeled this poetic justice, calling out the original poster's husband for his overbearing and hypocritical behavior.

"[Not the a**hole]," Redditor u/cmogrady13 commented, receiving more than 1,500 votes. "Keep your money separate and only pay for your portion of things, and also take back your car since...it's yours."

"If he's going to pull the my money game then he can suck it up and go buy his own car," they added.

Redditor u/TR_Irisden, whose comment has received nearly 4,000 votes, echoed that sentiment.

"Keep your money in your account and take your car back too," they wrote. "If he wants to play the 'mine' game like a temper tantrum-ing [2-year-old], just show him exactly how much is his."

"His mask has slipped and he has shown how he really feels about finances," Redditor u/jazzla added. "What's his is his and what's yours is his!"

In the post's top comment, which has received more than more than 16,000 votes, Redditor u/MetLady86 offered a potential response for the original poster to relay to her husband.

"'I'll take MY money and find a place to stay, because I'm not interested in a relationship where I'm supportive when you don't have a job for months on end, and you're being an a**hole right back the second I'm without one,'" they wrote.

"'Enjoy YOUR money and YOUR car,'" they added.

Newsweek reached out to u/ZookeepergameHuge627 for comment.