'Nightmare': Outrage as Friend Invites Herself on Bride's Honeymoon

A bride-to-be is horrified after her friend brazenly invited herself on her honeymoon, as she now debates how to tactfully tell her she wasn't invited.

The soon-to-be wife shared her dilemma to Mumsnet under username JudyPludy, where she revealed she and her future husband have "several kids" between them as they're a "blended family," and so have nicknamed themselves the Brady Bunch.

She explained: "Instead of doing a honeymoon with just us, we are taking all the kids away with us for a week on a road trip. My best friend of thirty years (Friend 1) is coming too as she has kids the same age who are really close to mine and our kids all love each other. We were looking forward to chilling out in the evenings to gather whilst the kids played harmoniously."

But that plan effectively got ripped up when another friend heard about the trip, and invited herself along too.

The post, shared on Monday, has already amassed more than 125 responses, and can be read here, as JudyPludy explained: "Friend 2 has just said when I was telling her about the plans that because the place we are visiting is one of her favorite places, she wants to come. She's a high drama person, very controlling and this isn't what I want. Problem is she said it in front of the kids who got excited about her coming so they have been chatting away all week now about the plans.

"I need to manage this and do some damage control. She's saying she would pay for herself etc so it's not the money thing. Friend 2 doesn't have kids, and has mental health issues that can be quite overwhelming to manage. She's had a horrible year but she's really hard work and does need managing. She also doesn't know Friend 1."

But JudyPludy was so taken aback when her friend said she'd join that she didn't nip the idea in the bud, and was now deeply regretting it.

The bride-to-be added: "It's my own fault but I was so taken aback by her saying she wanted to come along in front of the kids that I agreed in shock, now I'm just thinking this is going to be a nightmare! How best to tactfully manage it without sending Friend 2 into a misery spiral."

And she explained more about how, and why, she initially said yes, saying: "It came out of the blue and she said it in front of the youngest kids so they immediately started jumping up and down in excitement as they love her. I was just in shock that anyone let alone her would just take it upon themselves to invite themselves along! I said 'Oh that would be nice.' And then felt horrible."

Honeymoons are an important part of any wedding, with a study published in 2020 by Honeymoongoals.com revealing the most common amount of time spent away was seven days.

The website, which quizzed U.S. couples who honeymooned in the five years prior to publication, also found on average newlyweds spent between $2,500 and $2,500 on their trip.

It took couples 5.1 weeks on average to plan the vacation, with 60 percent of respondents staying in the country. The Caribbean was the next most popular destination, followed by Mexico.

Overall, 44 percent headed to a beach, while an adventure holiday was the next most popular theme, with 14.4 percent opting for this kind of trip.

Numerous people shared advice over how to uninvite the friend, as Saltyquiche thought: "I'd tell her you'd rather go somewhere with just herself and yourself another time as the honeymoon party is big enough as it is and you don't want it to get bigger and bigger."

GreyCarpet commented: "Your boundaries are bound to take a bit of a battering in the circumstances. Take care of yourself and don't be bulldozed by other people. You're allowed to set your own expectations for your own life."

Godmum56 suggested: "Massive honest apology and withdraw invitation. Don't blame other people, say that on reflection it's not going to work for you and keep saying it."

Maddy68 said: "I would blame your husband. Say he wasn't happy that 1 friend was coming on your honeymoon as he didn't want to be inundated with children. And now you have agreed another friend can come as well. Explain you need to be considerate towards your husband as it's his honeymoon too."

While 7eleven added: "You could suggest going there just with her another time. A girly weekend together perhaps? That would soften it."

In the end, after receiving lots of advice, JudyPludy reckoned the best method was to tell her friend that after thinking it over, the honeymoon would probably just work best with the two original families.