'We'd Rather Spend Thanksgiving Alone': Why Gen Z Wants to Avoid Family This Year

Instead of indulging in a traditional Thanksgiving with her family, Esmeralda Urias will, like many of her Gen Z cohorts, be spending the holiday alone this year—and she has no regrets.

"Family functions seem forced upon and once you get there 80 percent they will judge you for your life choices," the 21-year-old who lives in Brooklyn, New York, told Newsweek. "Personally, I like to be alone with me, my cat, Chinese food and Christmas movies."

Over one in three Gen Zers aged 18 to 26 said this year they are opting to celebrate holidays like Urias—without their families to avoid unwanted drama, according to language learning platform Preply's survey data.

Stanford study author Roberta Katz described the typical Gen Zer as a "self-driver who deeply cares about others, strives for a diverse community, (and) is highly collaborative and social."

They also value flexibility, relevance, authenticity and non-hierarchical leadership, making the traditional norms of a Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday with family less important than it has been to previous generations. Gen Z is also more likely to view their friends as increasingly important compared to family members.

Individual Pursuits Trump Traditional Values

This most unconventional generation often complains about the stress that arises during yearly holiday celebrations. Questions from family members noted as offensive by Gen Z, the Preply survey found, included those related to losing or gaining weight and those about relationships or kids (or a lack thereof).

Cameron Heinz, age 18, is another Gen Zer who decided to spend the holidays away from their family this year. But for Heinz, the owner of Mobility Nest, it came down to career demands.

"Running a business requires my constant attention, especially during the holiday season, which tends to be a busy time for many industries," Heinz told Newsweek. "Living on my own adds responsibilities that make it challenging to take extended breaks."

Heinz has noticed a stronger inclination in Gen Z peers to spend holidays alone or with friends. "It reflects the unique dynamics of our generation," Heinz said. "Gen Z values independence and individual pursuits."

New Idea of Family

Among the more than 1,000 respondents in Preply's survey, 46 percent said they had experienced a heated argument with family during the holidays.

While family fights are nothing new for the holiday season, Gen Z might be more likely to take matters into their own hands if they feel disrespected or unappreciated by their blood family.

"We believe that Gen Z is redefining the concept of 'family units,'" Sylvia Johnson, head of methodology at Preply, told Newsweek. "Unlike the traditional notions where family strictly meant those related by blood or marriage, Gen Z notably is now extending this definition to include close friends."

Whitney Goodman, the founder of Calling Home and a licensed marriage and family therapist, said she's witnessed many Gen Z clients more willing to distance themselves from family members than previous generations.

"They may be working on setting boundaries, finding their new identity, or understanding how their family members negatively impact them," Goodman told Newsweek. "I have noticed that these clients have the skills to set boundaries and they are not afraid to distance themselves from family members who harm them."

Goodman said this is often because they have other community and social support to rely on. Older generations may have been much more reliant on their family for all support, while Gen Z may find they have other ways to access support through groups, social media, and their peers.

There also seems to be less social stigma among Gen Z when choosing to distance themselves from abusive or harmful family members, Goodman said.

"Their peers are more likely to be understanding or supportive of their decisions, making it easier for them to make this choice when compared to previous generations," Goodman said.

"I do find that most young people do want to be close to their parents or other family members when possible. They are not typically making these decisions flippantly or without serious thought."

In their chosen friend families, Gen Zers prioritize comfort, mental health and shared perspectives, which are often missing from their biological families, Johnson added.

"However, this doesn't mean they are renouncing family ties, but rather broadening the concept of what a family can be," Johnson said.

Tim Hopfinger Lee, the founder of Tim's Coffee in Dover, Delaware, echoed this sentiment.

"The decision to be with friends on Christmas is not a rebellion against family values but a practical adaptation to our lifestyles," Lee, a millennial who is spending the holidays on his own, told Newsweek.

"Many of us don't have the luxury of traditional holidays. When we do get a break, we try to reconnect with those who share our experiences and challenges, and who happen to be our friends."

Least Religious Generation in History

Because Gen Z is less likely to be religious, this could also make them less likely to prioritize a Christmas holiday among family members. Gen Z stands out as the least religious generation in history, with more than a third of the group being religiously unaffiliated, according to the American Survey Center.

"It's a big deal for them to just leave their family and celebrate it with their friends on a holiday trip but that's just the reality we live in," Lee said, even of his Muslim friends who don't celebrate Eid with family members anymore. "Some of them are afraid to do so only because their relatives will react negatively. It's time that we start treating this as a new normal."

Shriya Boppana, a 24-year-old living in Austin, Texas, has decided to be with her boyfriend and his friends in Kansas City instead of with her family in D.C. this Thanksgiving.

"Since [my boyfriend and I] do long distance, whenever I can, I spend weeks with him and the holiday season is the perfect time for me to get him without his rigorous work schedule," Boppana told Newsweek.

"So we decided to spend time in Kansas, enjoying ourselves with his friends, and celebrating New Year's downtown with all the other college kids and young adults."

Boppana said she loves her family but because she's Hindu, Christmas isn't deeply meaningful to them.

"I'm OK not prioritizing them for the season and spending it with my friends who have more activities to participate in," she said.