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A grandmother has been slammed online for "having fun" with her newborn grandson instead of helping out her daughter-in-law.
Published on Reddit's controversial r/AmITheA**hole forum, a man under the anonymous username u/AndrewRichard11 shared his story to receive feedback from the "AITA" community. The viral post has over 6,000 upvotes and 2,000 comments.
The Redditor began his post by explaining that he and his wife recently welcomed a baby boy. Since his wife has been exhausted, he asked his mom to come over to help out with chores around the house and spend time to bond with her grandchild.
"Thing is my wife acts strange whenever she sees my mom with our son," he began. "She'd make a face and talk to her in a descending tone, even raises her voice at her causing mom to feel hurt. I asked my wife about it and she said it was because of what my mom is doing. I asked her to elaborate and she complained about mom holding the baby for long and taking forever to give him back to her. Mom argued that my wife could ask nicely instead of outright yelling but my wife defended herself saying that she only starts raising her voice after she's already asked a couple of times and mom won't listen."
"They started arguing and mom started crying. That's when I felt enraged, pulled my wife aside and told her to stop acting out and that if she keeps this up then we won't get any more help from mom. She argued that she was trying to feed our son and that it was awful of me to think of it as 'acting out,'" he continued.
The original poster (OP) explained to his wife that his mom does things that require patience from them but said that they should "keep the peace" during their "difficult time." His wife called him selfish and said that he doesn't have to deal with the situation as she does.
His wife argued that he should be the one to get their son from his mom when it's time for the baby to be fed since he "condones" his mother's behavior.
Newsweek has reached out to u/AndrewRichard11 for comment.
Ways to help new parents care for a newborn
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, there were about 3.6 million births in the United States in 2020.
New parents can be overwhelmed by the amount of responsibility they have with a newborn. How can you help the new parent in your life? Mombrite.com has tips on how to be a supportive friend or family member:
- Let them have "me time": New parents might be nervous to leave their newborns, but it might be worth letting them leave the house for an hour or so to get errands done.
- Treat the new parents: Treat the parent with small gifts for them including babysitting or even a spa day for themselves.
- Help around the house: Help the parents out by doing simple chores while they are occupied with their child. These chores could be folding laundry or washing the dishes.
- Be supportive: Support the new parent in your life by being understanding and an active listener as they are going through an emotional and overwhelming time in their life.
Newsweek has published several articles regarding parenting, including how the internet was divided after a parent ignored their child and where two parents were slammed for giving one child their house in inheritance.
Redditor reactions
"[You're the a**hole]. It's pretty clear you're letting your MIL run roughshod over your wife, and you're doubling down by saying she should manage her reaction. You need to get control of your mother, apologize to your wife profusely, and start directly helping out with your son and household. Yesterday," u/suffragette_citizen wrote, receiving the top comment of over 12,000 upvotes.
"Exactly. The grandmother is not helping at all. She's just having fun with the baby like a selfish a**hole," u/banannejo replied.
U/CoffeeWithDreams89 said, "[You're the a**hole]. Also if your mom is holding the baby that's not helping. She's helping if she's doing dishes or making a meal so your wife can rest with the baby."
"[You're the a**hole]. You're mom sounds like a meddlesome pest. Your wife shouldn't have to ask more then once for her baby. Put your mother in her proper place and Stand-up for and support your wife," u/Standard-Park commented.
"[You're the a**hole]. Your mom came over to "help out" — holding the baby is not helping out. I don't even have kids, but I've heard many times that the way to help a new mother is not to hold the baby, but instead to take care of everything else around the house that needs to be done so that the new mother can just hold her baby. The baby's only 5 weeks old, your wife is allowed to be and act stressed. And it should go without saying that if a mom asks for her newborn baby back, she should get her baby back," u/EvangelineRain said.
About the writer
Ashley Gale is a Newsweek reporter based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Her focus is reporting on trends. She has covered trends, ... Read more