Woman Blocking Grandson Born Out of Wedlock From Inheritance Sparks Debate

A woman has asked Reddit if she is being unreasonable for supporting her mother's plan to exclude one grandchild from her will.

In the post, which has prompted more than 3,000 comments on the Am I the A**hole thread, a user called AmazingCommitte2885 explained that her mother, who lives with her, "is getting older and wants to create her will."

The mother has two children in their forties: the original poster and her brother. The Redditor has two teenage children. The brother has a teenage daughter with his wife of 20 years, plus a 9-year-old son conceived during a one-night stand he had while briefly separated from his wife.

The young boy's mother died, AmazingCommitte2885 wrote, so "as of a year ago he's living with my brother and his wife full-time … and is now more integrated into our family. My mom accepts his son as her grandson as do the rest of us."

However, the Redditor's mother is planning to treat the 9-year-old differently in her will—because he has a large inheritance from his late mother and is set to get another from his maternal grandparents.

Inheritance is a common source of conflict in families. A 2019 survey by Ameriprise found that among adult siblings who fought about finances, 70 percent of the arguments were about the parents' money.

A 2018 study by Merrill Lynch found mixed opinions on unequal inheritances in families. Two-thirds of Americans said a child who cared for them should receive more than their siblings. In addition, "nearly one-fourth say that a child who has his or her own children should receive a larger inheritance than one who does not. Sixty percent say that stepchildren should receive the same amount of inheritance as biological or adopted children."

In the Reddit case, the woman wrote that her mother wanted to "leave a small property she owns to be split among the grandkids. The assumption is that when the time comes they'll sell it and split the proceeds since it's not sentimental or easy/convenient to share ownership of."

The 9-year-old has a six-figure sum in trust, from his late mother, and will receive a seven-figure inheritance from his maternal grandparents. "So my mother allocated him a token gift but didn't think it made sense for him to be cut in equally to the other 3."

When the brother found out, he "demanded his son be cut in equally to the property, not really because of the money, he knows as well as we do that [the boy] doesn't need it, and more because of what it meant symbolically" for the 9-year-old to be excluded.

If the will is written that way, however, the brother could struggle to challenge it, according to lawyers.

Amanda Shaffer from the Shapiro Law Firm in New York, told Newsweek: "It is entirely up to the person whose will it is to decide how he or she will divide up his or her estate. Unless the brother can prove fraud, coercion or duress when the will goes to probate after death, what is written will govern how the grandmother's assets are divided."

Lisa Hall, an attorney from Tennessee firm Hodges, Doughty & Carson, told Newsweek that the best way to "avoid drama and any future will contest may well be to treat all grandchildren equally."

She added: "Even though the article says it has nothing to do with the son being born outside the marriage, that is certainly what it looks like and what he will likely think.

"The argument against that is that the other grandchildren could say that their grandmother was pressured into leaving the property to all four in equal parts, rather than leaving the majority to three as she desired."

The Redditor explained that her mother was prepared to make a concession, if everyone agreed on it. "My mom repeated that it didn't make practical sense but said if I agreed, she was willing to split it four ways instead. But I said no, I agree with her that it's illogical.... I told my brother that I didn't think that was fair to my kids, he said I was being mercenary."

Commenters on the post were divided. Umbra_Demon supported AmazingCommitte2885, writing: "They are clarifying that the discrepancy in the will has nothing to do with their feelings on him and solely to do with him standing to inherit much more from one of his own relatives. I don't see where they're treating him as a 'second class citizen' anywhere."

A user called thursmalls disagreed, asking the original poster: "If one of your kids marries into money or gets a really good paying job in the future, they'll be cut out in the same way?"

User jesters_privelage expressed doubts about the family dynamic, posting: "It's weird that OP needs to specify that he's considered her grandson when there's no reason for him not to be considered her grandson, considering he literally is her grandson."

Shaffer said such disagreements within families were very common and a good way to "cut down on challenges" was "using a lawyer to draft the will."

She added: "People are greedy and it does not matter if their family is involved, although it does get even nastier with family actually. Bottom line is, your will, your assets, your decision."