Groom Applauded for Kicking Mom Out of Wedding Over 'Disgusting' Remarks

A newly-married man has been applauded for throwing his mom out of his wedding.

In an ideal world, most newlyweds would probably rather avoid something as embarrassing as escorting a parent from their nuptials. However, in the case of one 28-year-old Redditor posting under the handle u/SilentPlayer020, most on social media felt it was justified.

u/SilentPlayer020 is a transgender male. He came out in college but his mom didn't support the decision. "Her stance on it is that if I am born female, I will always be a female," the Redditor explained.

America remains divided on the subject of accepting people who are transgender. In a 2022 Pew Research Center survey, 38 percent of respondents felt society had gone too far while 36 percent felt it had not gone far enough.

There also appears to be a clear generational divide on the topic, with around 40 percent of those aged between 30 and 65+ backing the idea that things had gone too far, while 47 percent of 18-29 year olds felt more could be done.

In this instance, the mom's attitude towards her son's choices has not changed over the years. So when u/SilentPlayer020 told his mom he was going to propose to his girlfriend she told him: "I don't like that you're going to marry a girl, that's disgusting." It was a response that broke his heart yet, together with his fiancee, they decided to invite his mom to their wedding.

Surprisingly, she responded by telling them she would "come so she could see me on my big day." The wedding itself went off without a hitch, but things took an ugly turn during the reception. "My mom came up to me and told me how disgusting I was for kissing a girl and she didn't raise her 'daughter' to be this way," u/SilentPlayer020 wrote.

At this point he said he had "had enough" and proceeded to unload on her, branding her a "horrible mother" who "never supported" him and continued to be "verbally abusive" about his life choices.

u/SilentPlayer020 then ordered her to "get the hell out" of his wedding and never contact him again. She was eventually escorted out. "It made such a huge scene that I was slightly embarrassed but it felt so good to let all my anger out," u/SilentPlayer020 said.

Yet, later, during their honeymoon, he began to receive text messages from other members of the family slamming him for his outburst and for forcing his mom to leave, noting "at least she turned up." It's a development that has left him feeling "slightly guilty."

However, Angelika Koch, a certified relationship expert with Taimi, a fully inclusive LGBTQ+ dating app, felt the groom's response was entirely justified..

"It's not uncommon for toxic family members to gang up against the victim and attempt to make the victim feel as though they did something wrong," Koch told Newsweek. "What they are doing is a manipulative way to try to guilt the victim into tolerating unacceptable and abusive behavior. They will often do this because the abuser victimizes themselves and twists the story in such a way that it villainizes the victim. When the victim tries to explain their side, the toxic families will stand up for the abuser because they already have made up their minds that the victim is the villain."

Koch said this scenario is especially common in the trans community. "Many people—especially the older generations—are less accepting of the trans community and will oftentimes agree with unacceptable treatment towards the victim, because of the judgment they have already formed," she said. "There is a double standard, where they expect a level of respect to be given to themselves but do not hold trans people to that same level. When the trans person experiences disrespect or abuse, those who have already formed their judgment will try to make the trans person out to be the one in the wrong."

With this in mind, Koch felt the groom had "every reason to become angry and was merely reacting to the abuse he was put through."

"He set a firm boundary, and when the abusive mother did not respect that boundary, he had her removed. Sometimes standing up for yourself to an abuser can appear in a more heated manner because the abuser has pushed things to that point. A victim of abuse can only take so much before they finally react," she explained.

Koch's viewpoint was one shared by many on social media. Commenting on the post, one Redditor said: "If you go to a wedding you should have common decency and be nice to the married couple. Definitely not say that it makes you sick."

"I DON'T understand the family," a second wrote. "He didn't make them uncomfortable, she started a scene, the victim who is man enough to stand up for himself and call out a bigot is an awesome thing to see, not something awkward to chastise."

A third Redditor, who claimed to be the mom of a transgender son, meanwhile, branded the groom's mom "the disgusting one" and offered some sage advice to parents facing the same thing: "when you were pregnant and people asked do you want a boy or a girl, you probably responded 'I don't care as long as they are healthy and happy!' Now your child is older and becoming the person they were meant to be, and you should want the same thing, for them to be healthy and happy."

Newsweek asked u/SilentPlayer020 for comment.

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