Husband and Mother-in-Law Dragged for Making New Mom Go Hungry: 'Ashamed'

Members of a popular internet forum were shocked after one new mother was left starving by those who were supposed to care about her most.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/Got50977 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said she made the decision to bring her infant to her own mother's house after her husband and mother-in-law made sure to feed themselves and nobody else.

Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for taking my newborn son and going to my mom's house because my husband and his mom didn't save me any food for dinner?" the post has received more than 17,000 upvotes and 4,000 comments in the last eight hours.

"I...gave birth to my son 5 weeks ago," OP began. "My husband's mom has been camping in the living room ever since."

Continuing to explain that her mother-in-law has been inviting people to her house and causing chaos in general, the original poster said she feared her husband would scold her about being ungrateful if she complained, so she remained focused on her newborn.

The original poster also said that, although her mother-in-law is less than helpful with the baby, she had been cooking regularly and keeping the family fed—until recently.

"Last night, I was in the bedroom breastfeeding my son. I knew I was late for dinner but I thought that my husband and his mom saved a plate for me," OP wrote. "As I was walking towards the kitchen, his mom loudly said that she didn't save me any food.

"She simply said, 'Well, we didn't see you at [the] dinner table so I thought you weren't hungry,'" OP continued. "I lost it and yelled that I was feeding my son [so] OF COURSE, I was hungry. I was actually starving!

"An argument ensued and I...packed a small bag for me and my son, called my brother to take me to [my] mom's house and my husband blew up at me as I was making my way out," OP added. "I told him I couldn't take his mom anymore [and] he said I should be ashamed of myself for talking about her like that after she literally put her life 'on pause' so she could help ME out."

After months of pregnancy and hours—if not days—of labor, it is imperative that new moms receive as much assistance and extra care as possible, while also allowing ample time and space for recovery.

Naturally, the brunt of this responsibility should fall onto the other parent and in 2019, economists at Stanford University concluded that when fathers are given paternal leave and flexibility at work, the postpartum health and mental well-being of recovering mothers improves drastically.

However, with any form of paid parental leave coming at an extreme premium in the United States, around-the-clock assistance from a partner rarely lasts more than a few weeks.

For new parents struggling to keep up with the demands of a newborn, Stanford Medicine recommends enlisting an additional pair of hands around the house, whether that be a paid home care provider or willing relative.

"A family member such as the new baby's grandmother or aunt may be able to come for a few days or longer," the Stanford Children's Health website reads, with a disclaimer.

"Whoever you decide to have as help, make clear all the things you expect them to do," it continues. "Communication is important in preventing hurt feelings or misunderstandings when emotions are fragile these first few weeks."

But while an aunt, grandmother or other relative can provide much-needed assistance for parents in need, they can also make life much more difficult, as was the case for the original poster.

Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, fuming Redditors lambasted the original poster's husband and mother-in-law for failing to consider a new mother's needs and questioned their understanding of the physical and mental stress that OP is currently under.

"Breast-feeding while on an empty stomach," Redditor u/yeznag wrote in the post's top comment, which has received more than 22,000 upvotes. "That's like going into debt.

"There should've been heaping mounds of food waiting for you," they assured.

"The bottom line is that it shouldn't matter what time you decide to eat," they added, in a separate comment, which has received more than 7,000 upvotes. "There should be food in the house for you."

Redditor u/mdthomas, whose comment has received nearly 13,000 upvotes, honed in on the original poster's mother-in-law.

"Basically [your husband's] mother came to take care of him and show off her new grandchild under the pretense of 'helping you,'" they wrote. "[She] is ignoring you and your husband is using her as an excuse to skip out on doing his part of parenting.

"Kick her out, tell him he needs to start pitching in or file for divorce," they advised.

"He's manipulated you so bad if you're even questioning this right now," Redditor u/questionablemay echoed, receiving more than 3,000 upvotes. "Get out for your kid and yourself."

Newsweek reached out to u/Got50977 for comment.