'I Don't Care': Parent Backed for Confronting Mother of Daughter's Bully

Members of a popular internet forum were quick to show support for one parent who said they were forced to confront another parent after a school year's worth of bullying.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/gotiroselyn (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) explained that their daughter has been the target of bullying since starting middle school, and recounted the heated interaction they had with one bully's mother.

Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for saying I don't care when told why someone bullied my daughter?," the viral post has received nearly 8,000 votes and 98 percent upvotes in the last day.

"My daughter has had a rough year," the original poster began. "She started middle school and it was not an easy transition for her."

"What made it worse is a bully she's faced, we'll call her Olive," they added.

Writing that "Olive" has bullied their daughter relentlessly, teasing her about her hair, her appearance, the way she talks and her interests, the original poster said they reported the behavior, but assured that the bully "is smart and knew to do it when no adults were present."

Adding that switching schools is "not an option," the original poster also said that recently, their daughter's bullying has reached new levels.

"Olive started getting bolder," they wrote. "She put gum in my daughter's hair during class...the school took it seriously and Olive got in trouble. I also insisted on a meeting so this could get resolved."

"In the meeting, I laid it all out. How awful Olive has been, the nasty things she has said, my daughter crying often," they continued. "Olive's mother was profusely apologetic but then added, 'She's had a tough year. Her father died and I feel like she's acting out.'"

The original poster then detailed their blunt response.

"I said, 'Frankly, I don't care. Your daughter has harassed mine for months and has had zero consequences. Get your sh*t together so mine isn't traumatized," they wrote.

Although there are no federal laws which specifically apply to bullying, states have implemented both laws and policies prohibiting unwanted conduct in schools across the country.

StopBullying.Gov, a government website dedicated to the prevention of bullying in the United States, recommends that in confirmed cases of bullying, parents first work with their child's school to resolve the issue. It is recommended that parents consult their state's anti-bullying law, or policy, to determine the appropriate response.

As an alternative response to severe cases of bullying, Parents magazine encourages direct intervention from the targeted student's parents.

"This is the right approach only for persistent acts of intimidation, and when you feel these parents will be receptive to working in a cooperative manner with you," Parents reports.

However, a lack of cooperation between parents can lead to tension.

In their viral Reddit post, the original poster was clear that the mother of their daughter's bully was apologetic for her child's actions, but also justified the behavior. And despite the serious and sentimental nature of the mother's justification, the original poster was unreceptive and continued to defend their daughter—something hundreds of Reddit commenters commended them for.

Throughout the post's comment section, Redditors agreed that losing a parent could explain a child's bullying behavior, but remained adamant that it does not justify it.

"This is information that may explain Olive's behavior, but it doesn't excuse it, and there should still be consequences for it," Redditor u/explorationofspace wrote in the post's top comment, which has received more than 14,000 votes.

"Exactly an explanation does not equal an excuse," Redditor u/Pineapple_Wagon added. "Especially when someone is being traumatized by the actions of the explanation."

Redditor u/JoBenSab, whose comment has received more than 2,000 votes, said that the mother's explanation failed to address the fact that her daughter was concentrating solely on the original poster's daughter.

"If she was lashing out at everyone that would be something that maybe was a result of her dad dying, but she isn't doing that," they wrote. "She is targeting YOUR daughter."

"It isn't your job to help this girl find healthy coping techniques for her grief and it isn't your daughter's job to be the outlet for this girl," they added.

Newsweek reached out to u/gotiroselyn for comment.