I Lost 4 Pant Sizes While Still Eating Junk Food Every Day

I had been overweight for most of my life. I was never a really big kid, but I was taller and wider and just thicker. I looked like a fully developed woman at 13 years old and was getting catcalled walking down the street.

I'm 25 now. Growing up in the 2000s, it felt like there were no body-positive influencers. We didn't have a Lizzo. I grew up at a time when people thought Jennifer Lawrence was fat. But I would have killed to look like Jennifer Lawrence.

That culture impacted my mental health. It's so frustrating. I was young and beautiful and my body was in shape, but it just wasn't enough for me because I didn't look like my friends or the girls in magazines.

Inevitably, my mental health started to decline as I got older, which ultimately led me to struggle with some eating disorders when I was in my sophomore year of high school. It was really bad. I had multiple doctors appointments.

One moment has really stuck with me. I was with the doctor and he looked me in the eyes and said if I don't start eating then the acid in my stomach is going to burn holes through the lining.

But when you're someone who only cares about being thin, things like that just don't bother you. I should have known that that was a problematic mindset, but I was young and I didn't care. I just wanted to be thin above all else.

Eventually, through the help of friends, family, and an amazing therapist, I started to heal my relationship with food—or so I thought. In reality, I just went to college where I was super active, which resulted in me losing a bunch of weight for the first time.

I didn't have to think about my body. It was so refreshing not having to think about food all day long. But then college ended and I happened to graduate during the COVID pandemic in 2020.

I sat on my ass for the next three years. I got a remote job where I was making good money. I was getting takeout delivered for every single meal, every single day. But most importantly, I just stopped moving my body.

I got to the point where I couldn't even walk down the street to get coffee without feeling like I was going to faint from exhaustion. That was crazy to me. I was someone who was doing cartwheels and the splits on stage as a musical theater major.

Before, I was constantly active and my body was able to move so much without getting tired. Then all of a sudden, I couldn't even walk without feeling exhausted because I just sat for years. But I know I had to forgive myself and love that version of me if I wanted to change.

I had to forgive myself for allowing me to gain so much weight and lose all my stamina. I went through a hard time. We all went through a pandemic and it sucked; it's okay that I allowed this to happen. But now I have to do something to change it.

It was summertime. I had some vacations planned and I just knew that I wanted to go on these without feeling stressed about my lack of physical abilities. One of my trips was Disney World, which meant a lot of walking. I didn't feel like I was in the right shape to walk and be comfortable.

I had started weight loss journeys in the past. I picked some crash diet like a juice cleanse. I tried all of these crazy quick fixes because that's what I was looking for. But I reached the point where I knew a quick fix wasn't going to work. I needed a complete lifestyle change, but the idea of that is overwhelming.

I thought there must be a compromise here. I started to think what are things that I can either add or take out of my life that aren't going to be a major shift for me, but that will promote weight loss.

My first step was identifying how much food I was eating day to day. For a few days I counted the calories while eating what I would normally. I had heard people talking about calorie deficit—consuming fewer calories than you burn—as pretty much the only way to lose weight.

It turned out I was eating close to 3,500 calories a day—far too much for somebody my height and size.

Rather than freaking out, I thought: OK, if I know how many calories I'm eating right now, then let's just start by eating a little bit less than that. What would happen if I started eating 3,200 calories a day?

I knew if I tried an immediate jump from 3,500 calories a day to 1,700, I was going to be hungry. I was used to having a giant breakfast, a giant lunch, a giant dinner and then eating snacks throughout the day. So going cold turkey didn't make sense to me.

I made my goal around 3,300 calories a day or less. This was as simple as changing up my Starbucks order from a creamy oat milk cold foam drink to something with almond milk, and then switching from my normal breakfast sandwich to the spinach feta egg wrap. Still a delicious hearty breakfast, but several hundred calories under what I was eating before.

Or, it was taking the mayo and olive oil off the sandwich I ordered from Subway a couple times a week; or getting one less taco at Taco Bell. Little things like that didn't really affect me th

My body soon adjusted to the lower number of calories. When I felt comfortable, I would take my calorie goal down by another 100 or 200. This went on and on until I ended up in calorie deficit, consuming less than I was burning each day. I used an online calculator to work out the latter.

Did it take time for me to get to that point? Absolutely. But would I have done it any other way? No.

This was so much more sustainable. It was easier. It gave me a better understanding of the calories in the foods I'm eating and how I can make little swaps. And it was far less triggering as someone who struggled with eating disorders.

I didn't feel this intense pressure to count every single calorie. I was eating because I was giving myself a larger calorie range. I felt like there wasn't any space to fail because I was being kind to myself.

When I was finally eating in a calorie deficit, I knew I then wanted to implement exercise as part of my journey. But as someone who hadn't gotten off the couch in three years, I was scared to get back to the gym or to even go outside for a walk.

I was in such good shape in the past that it felt embarrassing to be nervous about exercising. But I knew I couldn't let that feeling stop me, so I went to my apartment gym one morning and I hopped on the treadmill because that's what I was comfortable with.

I did 10 minutes, and that was all I could do. I really wanted to feel embarrassed and defeated, and mad and angry at myself over it. But I had to remember that was the most intentional exercise I had done in three years. That's a win, and a win is a win.

I made it my goal to just show up at the gym every day for the next couple weeks, even if it meant I was just doing 10 minutes on the treadmill. I would experiment with different machines. I tried the free weights. I tried the rower. I tried the bike. Eventually, I became more comfortable trying these different things, and that 10 minutes on the treadmill turned into 15, which turned into 20, and then 30—after not even a month.

I felt like I had so much more control over my mind and body. I began to love going to the gym and looked forward to it. I felt good. I started seeing changes in my body. Not just the way it looked, but in the way that it felt. I was feeling super encouraged about everything

I went on my Disney World vacation and I had much better control over the food I ate. I wasn't eating to the point of feeling extremely full like I used to do. I knew how to pick calorie-smart options and how to stop eating when I was full. I also noticed myself being able to move really well. It was amazing.

When I got home, I remember thinking I'm not going back to the gym. But I woke up the next day and I went to the gym and had fun. Then there were times when it wasn't fun, but I still went. Soon it went back to being fun.

It has been back and forth between those feelings since. Sometimes the gym is really hard for me. Sometimes it's really fun and easy.

I like to look at the gym at the same way that I do my dishes. If I make something for dinner, rinse off my dish, and put it in the dishwasher, it's a lot more manageable to keep the dishes done all week.

But if I don't rinse it off and just leave it in the sink, then cook again and don't rinse it off and leave it in the sink, and I keep repeating that, eventually the dishes pile up and get moldy. They smell bad. They're yucky. They're nasty.

I see the gym in a similar way. Not that I become yucky or nasty if I don't go to the gym, but my mental health becomes foggy and clouded.

A huge reason that I get up and go to the gym every day is because my focus is better. My concentration is better. My quality of life is better. When I go to the gym, I'm releasing hormones that make my body feel amazing.

I take plenty of rest days, as you should when you're on a weight loss journey. I don't always go to the gym for exercise. Sometimes it can be as simple as a trip out to the store and walking around.

But I knew that if my goal was to just move for 30 minutes a day then it was a lot more obtainable than having to go to the gym every single day. Sometimes I do a rigorous workout. Sometimes I literally just go and walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Sometimes I'm so drained I'll just walk up some stairs. But it's better than nothing.

If you eat in a calorie deficit and you move a little bit more you will lose weight. Of course, there are always exceptions, so I know that's not true for everyone. But for most people it is.

I make a point not to weigh myself to track progress. But when I started my journey I was size 18-20. Now I'm a size 6-8. So I dropped several pant sizes while still eating junk food every day.

You have to stop thinking about the quick fix and instead focus on long-term results. Think about how it can be sustainable for you.

I'm over a year into my journey and I don't feel tired. I don't feel over it. I don't feel like I'm going to give up, because this is just my life now. I don't feel like I'm being restricted because I allow myself to eat the foods that I want.

If I want to eat a big dinner out, then I will. If I don't want to exercise, then I won't. It's all about balance.

Koli Marks is a certified personal trainer who puts emphasis on realistic fitness and weight loss.

All views expressed are the author's own.

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