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Ever since I was a little girl, I've loved babies and baby names. As the eldest cousin on both sides of my family, I was always fascinated by how my aunts and uncles were coming up with the names of my younger cousins. I also wanted every baby doll I saw in a store and would play pretend that they were my children. When I was learning to read, I would even ask my mom to take me to the library to take out baby name books. A bit embarrassed of this unusual interest, I kept my love of baby names to myself for most of my life.
In 2015, I was in the midst of writing my first screenplay. I was getting a little stifled and burned out, and realized that my favorite part of writing the screenplay was choosing the character names. I needed a creative outlet and decided to start an Instagram account, What's In A Baby Name, to write in detail about individual baby names that I thought were special. My early posts discussed the history, etymology, cultural relevance and numerology of each name. I didn't expect it, but the numerology of the names was what most engaged my audience. People who had these names were seeing the posts and the numerology reports and saying, "That's totally my personality!" My account started really growing as a result.
Around 2018, my posts evolved as I became more intrigued by collections of names. I started creating name lists based on similar feelings, themes and categories. That's when people started writing to me and asking if I could name their babies. When they saw the broader categories, they would see their daughter or son's name on a list and make the connection that they wanted a name for their second or third child that fit stylistically with what they had chosen for their first or second.
For years, I DM'ed with followers, offering free advice or re-directing them to earlier posts on my page. Then, in the fall of 2018, I started my journey to becoming a childbirth doula. Fascinated by the training, I considered how I could best jump into this line of important work. I wanted to find a way to offer support and to make my clients feel seen, heard and understood whilst going through the major life transition of becoming parents. Around this time, I was getting an overwhelming number of requests to help name babies, and I realized that I could use my skills to launch a baby naming consultancy.
My first client was a man who was having his first son via surrogate. In those early days, as I was growing my business, I spent hours curating name lists and then editing them with my client. As with now, each name that I recommended to him had an extensive amount of research and thought behind it, focused on areas like numerology or pieces of his personal family history. I created an in-depth questionnaire as both a fun way for the family to brainstorm and also to get all of the pertinent information I need to guide them in the right direction when choosing a name.
This client ultimately chose the name Theodore for his sweet little boy, which has become rather popular in the U.S. in recent years. I've noticed that parents can be wary of choosing a popular name, as they often say they are looking for something unique. But there's a reason why popular names are popular: People love them! Popular names are familiar, and pleasing to the ear to many. For that reason, I encourage families to just choose the name they love the most.
A client of mine recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and named her Bennett. She and her partner weren't initially sure about using such a masculine name for a girl, but it has special meaning to their family. The first initial, "B", honored a dearly departed family member, and the letters in Bennett included all of the family members' initials, signifying to them that even through death, the family would always be together in spirit. Some other client names that I've felt particularly drawn to are Sebastian, Maxwell, Emmeline, and Josephine. Many clients are gravitating towards names that offer ample nickname options.
One of my biggest lessons has been to leave my personal opinion on names at the door. Early on, I had a couple who were stuck between several spellings of a popular name. They had indicated in their questionnaire that they were looking for more classic, traditional names, and as such, I pushed heavily for them to choose the more popular spelling of this name, rather than an alternative. They were unsure about whether or not to use this popular spelling, but ultimately decided to take my advice. I can remember feeling overjoyed! I was certain I was saving this child from years of having to correct people—since this was an oft misspelled name. I felt like I was doing God's work; it was a total boost to my ego. A year later, it was that little girl's first birthday, and I saw that they had changed her name to the more uncommon spelling. It made me realize that my work is about guiding parents, not pushing them or superseding their wishes.
Parents will get nuanced insight from me based on their personal preferences, not mine. As a baby name consultant, I truly believe there are no mistakes; if your intuition is telling you to choose a certain name or spelling of a name for your child, go for it! It's often the silencing of that inner voice that leads to name regret: a unique phenomenon that's become a huge part of my work recently. I'm currently working with a number of clients who are experiencing "baby name regret." They are coming to me to talk through whether they should change their baby's name, and if so, to what.
One piece of advice I offer clients is: never share the name before your baby is born! People love to share their unsolicited opinions about baby names, which can be really hurtful and upsetting to parents who have come to the conclusion that this is the right name for their child. It also creates a weird issue around baby name stealing. There are so many people talking about this issue on social media; it seems to be rampant, with accounts of naughty sister-in-laws, friends, and co-workers "stealing" names. A woman, Sarah* recently reached out to tell me that she had shared her baby name with her pregnant co-worker, Lisa*, only for Lisa to use it for her own child. When Sarah had her own baby, Lisa went as far as telling others that Sarah had stolen the name from her. If you never share the name, you never risk the pain of someone "taking" it from you.
As the business has evolved, my clients have increasingly wanted more one-on-one time with me, so my core offering is now a bespoke baby name list and one-on-one phone call, as well as one revision to the list. My services branch out from there, depending upon the level of guidance and support a family needs. My packages begin at $1,500 and increase depending upon the scope of work. For some of my clients, it's as simple as a few attuned name suggestions, while for others, I am acting as a stand-in marriage counselor during their name disputes. I have now worked with hundreds of parents and was recently working with a number of couples going through IVF. My work is as diverse as my clientele.
Fortunately, there is no retirement age for this service. This is my heart's work; I love serving my clients during this special time in their lives. It's such a great honor for me to continue to find new ways to support parents. At 33, I hope to have a family of my own someday and laugh that I will have to have at least six of my own, each with three names, if I ever hope to use all of my favorite baby names. In the meantime, there is a part of me that lives vicariously through my clients. It brings immense joy to my heart to watch their families grow.
Taylor A. Humphrey is the founder of What's in a Baby Name, a usui reiki practitioner and childbirth doula. You can follow her on Instagram @whatsinababyname or TikTok @whatsinababynamedoula.
All views expressed in this article are the author's own.
As told to Jenny Haward.
*Names have been changed.
