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I was born and raised in northern New Jersey by a single mother and I am one of four children; I have two older brothers and a younger sister. Though I didn't grow up in the greatest environment, we made the best of the cards we were dealt. My mother worked very hard to make sure we had the resources we needed, she did an amazing job, but our neighborhood wasn't very inviting or safe to live in.
I'm very close with one of my older brothers, he guided me and gave me counsel, but then he went to prison for a while when I was around 19. Although I still had family, I felt alone. I was seeking a family, and in seeking that I encountered gangs that made their life seem inviting. Gangs all over the world generally sell the same thing: family, protection and power. It's different depending on the gangs and leaders; my experience was lots of alcohol, drugs and violence.
I was part of the Bloods for two or three years in my early 20s. I'm 28 now, but then, I was a very angry person and I didn't treat others very well. I felt this sense of protection, power and authority in a gang that I now see wasn't the right way to live my life. There was a lot of violence, manipulation and hurting people.
I didn't really care too much about violence towards me, that became normal. But I got involved in a situation and people came after my mother, twice, because of me. That was not cool. I didn't care if anything happened to me, but the fact that it had travelled home was not OK. If something had happened to her because of me, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. It opened my eyes. I had to think about others and realize that my choices and actions may lead to something happening to them.
It was hard to leave the Bloods, because generally you can't leave gangs like that. There was a point where I escaped to another town for a little bit and waited for things to blow over. And, I spent some time with my grandmother in Puerto Rico.
When I returned, I started working in housekeeping at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital in New Brunswick. After a year, I transferred to become a clinical care technician (CCT), where I cleaned and fed patients and took care of them. That's where I believe God taught me to have humility and to care for others, rather than be prideful or angry.
I was working in the trauma unit and I saw everything from people who had been in car accidents, to those who had experienced gun wounds and head traumas, and people who had fallen badly or come out of surgery.
I loved the experience of the different people I came across. I met people of all ages and backgrounds, from all walks of life and I gained so much wisdom and humility, and a real love for people.
I had patients who were harsh and I had to learn to listen, love and accept that, and still care for them. It humbled me and made me grateful for my life. There were some young people I saw who got into accidents and now can't walk. I had thought I came from a harsh background, but there were people who came from backgrounds harsher than mine. It really opened my eyes.
Most of my personal transformation happened when I was a CCT in that trauma unit. When I saw people there hurt, I was reminded that I had been involved in hurting people. I could have been one of those people or I could have been someone who caused a person to be in hospital. I saw the pain the families felt. It really changed my heart. I had had a heart of stone; hardened by violence, drugs and alcohol and I believe God put me there to soften me and give me a heart of love.
But after a while, something in my heart told me I had to keep moving. As a CCT I had been trained in phlebotomy; to draw blood. I am pretty good at it and I enjoy it. I had gained what I needed from my CCT job so I put in a request to work in the laboratory, and I got the job of phlebotomist immediately. I've been in that department for just over a year, and as well as adults, I now also draw blood from babies and children.
When I was a CCT, I began to teach myself piano by ear and I built a bond with one of my patients. I asked her if every time I learned a song I could come and play it to her. But carrying a piano around is kind of difficult. So around three months into my phlebotomy job, I taught myself guitar. I have been playing for eight or nine months now and I learned by ear. I still don't understand how to read or write sheet music, but I know four or five chords and I use them to help me play other band's music and church songs.
I don't just go into patient's rooms and force them to listen to my songs. I ask if it's OK and they have to agree. If a patient is not conscious but the family wants them to hear the music, they will agree it's OK for me to perform. The patient's nurse and the director on the floor also have to agree.
A lot of people love it when I perform music for them, they feel it's joyful. It uplifts them and takes their minds off the pain they're in. There are others who find it a little loud or disruptive. When I sense that, or it's brought to my attention, I politely pack up and move on to the next performance. I'm respectful and I don't overstep, but for the most part, people love it.
I do take my job seriously. As a phlebotomist, I'm either in the lab or I am on call, drawing blood. So I only perform music to patients either on my lunch break, before I start my shift, or on my day off.
One patient who really touched my heart was a woman called Michelle. I would take her outside in her wheelchair when it was sunny and we would sing together. I loved laughing and singing with her. Michelle had lots of gastric problems, she went through so much and she's still young, but she was still so joyful. Her and her family were so inviting and loving. Her family would even buy the hospital staff boxes of pizza and sub sandwiches. They showed so much gratitude for what we did for Michelle.
I don't think there's words to explain what I get from my work and performing music to patients. I get a sense of purpose, peace and love. It brings love and joy even in the midst of storms and pain. I feel like I am a completely transformed and renewed person. I'm not the same Enrique that enjoyed getting drunk, brawls, shootouts and violence. Now, I enjoy helping people, healing and loving people. I sing with patients and help them feel at peace, but sometimes helping them might just mean listening.
I have already come across people from my past and told them what I'm doing now; that I sing to my patients, to youth at church, and that I spread love. They thought it was beautiful and they were glad I left the gang for something better. They're happy for me, I'm covered and I walk freely. It's all love.
I don't know what the future holds, I'm going to continue to spread love and joy. I want to continue helping people, singing and worshipping.
The biggest change I've seen in myself is my heart. I have a joy and happiness that will never leave me. Whatever comes my way, the happiness and joy in my heart is a part of me and I will continue to share it.
Am I happy? Absolutely. Am I fulfilled? You bet.
Enrique Rodriguez is a phlebotomist living and working in New Jersey. You can follow him on TikTok @thesingingphlebotomist and on Instagram @thesingingphlebotomist.
All views expressed in this article are the author's own.
As told to Jenny Haward.
