'I'm in Shock': Internet Backs 'New Hire' Who Couldn't Call Off After Grandmother's Death

Members of a popular subreddit were quick to rally around one user after their harrowing story of having to choose between mourning their dead grandmother and going to work went viral.

Initially posted in Reddit's r/antiwork and titled "My grandmother just died, I have to be at work in an hour," u/hakunamatada2244's thread has received 22,000 votes and nearly 1,400 comments. Drawing the attention of many of r/antiwork's 1.5 million members, the thread includes a stark explanation of u/hakunamatada2244's difficult choice.

Explaining that they spent their grandmother's final hours at her hospital bedside, u/hakunamatada2244 said that they needed time to gather themselves but knew they would be expected to make it to work no matter the circumstances.

"I haven't been able to sleep I'm in shock ... my head hurts my eyes are swollen I feel nauseous, tired but can't sleep," they wrote. "Yet I'm expected to go into work in an hour, 3 hours after sobbing and holding my grandmother in my arms as she took her last breath."

In the United States, employers are encouraged to provide adequate time for employees to mourn the loss of a loved one, but companies are not required to do so. Business Insider reports that the average bereavement period in the United States is between one and five days, with three days being the most popular. However, bereavement policies vary from company to company, and time allotted for mourning is often dictated by an employee's direct relationship with the deceased.

u/hakunamatada2244 said they were not eligible for a bereavement period of any length because they have only been working at their current employer for a short time.

"I couldn't take bereavement or any sick days because I only get those benefits after 90 days of employment," they wrote.

According to the Society for Human Resources Management, "probationary periods" are often used by employers to assess new employees. The SRHM reports that, although some employers elect for probationary periods lasting up to a year, "most employers use probationary time frames of sixty or ninety days."

While probationary periods come with a myriad of legal implications, they often come with specific wording to maintain employers' abilities to terminate employees and sometimes lead to lopsided power dynamics, like the one described by u/hakunamatada2244.

Responding to a commenter underneath their original post, u/hakunamatada2244 said they pleaded with their employer for time to mourn their grandmother, but was threatened with termination.

"I called and they said I'd be fired if I didn't come in. I'm just debating on whether I'm okay with losing the job or not," they explained. "It's a good job but Jesus Christ I just watched my grandmother die."

In a comment that has received 2.6K votes, u/VoiceofTruth7 said the employer wasn't worth the original poster's time, and encouraged them to seek employment elsewhere.

"You have experienced a death," they wrote. "Anyone who gives you sh*t is not worthy of your time."

"If they can't understand the hours you just spent were priceless...they actually can't afford your services right now," they added.

Amid thousands of Redditors sharing stories similar to u/hakunamatada2244's, the thread's top commenter detailed an experience they had with an accommodating employer.

"Many years ago I was hired to work for a company, and right on my first day my mom woke up in pain (she had kidney stones), and I had to take her to the hospital. I called, explained the situation, and my boss said 'no worries, go take care of your mom, I'll see you tomorrow,'" u/throwaspenaway wrote, receiving 11.1K votes.

"That's the kind of place you want to work for," they added.