Internet Backs Man For Telling Wife She's Jealous of His Best Friend's Model Fiancée

A man has taken to Reddit to see if he took things too far with his wife after he told her she was jealous of his best friend's model fiancée.

In the post, which was published on Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum under the name u/throwawayhusband264, the husband said he noticed his wife making rude comments toward his best friend's fiancée, Rachel.

"Rachel models and is very attractive," the post explained. "My wife is less conventionally attractive but I fell in love with her for her humour and good spirit which I personally find more attractive than good looks. Recently I've noticed my wife making a lot of comments about Rachel calling her an airhead and just being kind of mean."

The poster said that when she makes the comments in private he is able to defend Rachel, but said he doesn't want to embarrass his wife in front of other people.

The man said he and his wife planned a vacation with his best friend, Matt, and Rachel, and everyone was excited to get away together. That was until both couples started talking about the economy at dinner and the man's wife told Rachel that she could "join in the conversation once the smart people are done."

The man explained that once he and his wife were in private he told her he was "embarrassed" and "ashamed." He also said his wife agreed that she needed to stop with the rude comments.

However, the next night the couples went out for drinks and the man's wife noticed Rachel was getting a lot of attention from men at the bar. He said she looked "visibly annoyed." At one point in the night, throwawayhusbband264 said a man approached Rachel and said she "looked just like the model Zendaya."

That's when his wife laughed and replied, "did you mean to say Whoopi Goldberg?" The post explained that Rachel left the table in tears and that he turned to his wife and told her that she was jealous. He said that he followed Matt and Rachel to apologize for his wife's words and said he was "ashamed of her behavior."

The post continued: "When I reunited with my wife she told me I was horrible for calling her jealous in front of everyone and embarrassing her. I told her straight up that she was jealous of Rachel as Rachel is more attractive than her.

"I realise in hindsight this was a very heavy thing to say and can see why she would be hurt by it. However I stand by the fact it was said in anger. AITA?"

The story has gone viral since it was posted on October 26, with more than 3,000 comments debating the man's actions.

Many in the forum said that his wife was wrong for bullying Rachel and that he did as much as he could before blowing up on her in the end.

"The way he handled it at the end was the last option, and the only appropriate one," one user wrote. "As the wife had no intention of ever stopping her bullying, despite all private talks regarding her behavior."

But others pointed out the fact that the man allowed his wife to bully Rachel for this long, and some even said the way he dealt with his wife was inappropriate. One user even said that the key to marriage isn't about "having someone's back no matter what," but rather "loving them enough to be able to be completely honest, even when they're being an AH."

According to Romper, there are more options to dealing with a bullying spouse other than divorce. Christie Tcharkhoutian, a marriage and family therapist, told Romper that when a spouse makes rude comments in public, it's cause for concern. Tcharkhoutian also said insecurity might be the overall cause of the hurtful language.

"It may be that your partner's insecurity is so ingrained that breaking this habit may not come so easily," she told Romper. "They may feel so badly about themselves that they are unable to quickly shift their behavior or piercing words. Their desire to feel big may consistently make you feel small, which will negatively affect your self esteem, happiness and mental health."

In an update to the post, throwawayhusband264 said that Matt and Rachel uninvited his wife from their wedding and that Rachel thinks his wife's comments were not only rude but racially motivated. He explained that he would still attend the wedding but that his wife would not be attending with him even if she does get reinvited.

"I agree with the comments that both my wife and I were the assholes in this situation," the man said in the update. "My wife's behaviour is unacceptable and mine was cruel and have probably done lasting damage to my wife's self-esteem."

He said the two are now attending couple's therapy and his wife is also seeing an individual therapist. He also said his wife has admitted she is jealous of Rachel and understands that her comments were inappropriate.