Internet Backs Teen Who Blamed Grandparents For Not Embracing Her Korean Culture

A teenage girl went viral on Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum after detailing a fight she had with her grandparents.

The Redditor, known only as u/Aggressive-Duty6000 on Reddit, received more than 17,000 votes and 1,200 comments on her post in less than 20 hours.

In the post, the 16-year-old Redditor explained that she is half Korean and half German but passes off as white.

"My mom was an addict, she and dad divorced when I was 2," the post explained. "Mom left for Germany and left me with dad. I am my family's greatest shame. My father is the firstborn son, his marriage to my mom was his rebellious stage and while he could pretend he never married her, he couldn't pretend I don't exist. I am a reminder of his failure."

u/Aggressive-Duty6000 also explained that her father quickly married a Korean woman and they had four children: one daughter and three sons. She added that she lived with her grandparents growing up and that they blamed her bad behavior on her "white side."

"I always heard things like 'we can't expect the white kid to behave,' 'rude just like westerners' etc," the post said. "If my siblings did something bad and I was blamed as I was 'influencing them with my western values' and 'leading the nice Koreans astray.'"

She also said whenever the Korean holiday Chuseok occurred, she was never allowed to participate and was told by her grandparents to stay in her room.

"For most of my life, I tried to be as Korean as possible, I dyed my natural blond hair brown, wore brown contact lenses to cover my blue eyes, etc," the post read. "It didn't help that we lived in the rural area of South Korea and I was the only white kid for miles. The bullying was relentless."

Monica Brown, an author and professor specializing in multiethnic literature at Northern Arizona University, told Parents.com that parents should avoid using fractions to describe "percentages" of a race to their mixed-race children.

"The language of fractions tells mixed children that they are not quite one race and not quite another," Brown told Parents. Instead, Brown recommends encouraging children to claim all aspects of their culture.

u/Aggressive-Duty6000 said in the post that her dad did "nothing" to help with the comments but that one time he tried to stand up to her grandparents and they pointed at her and told him "this is your fault."

"That was the first and last time he tried to stand up for me," the post explained. "When I was 15 my mom came to get me, she had gotten her life together and was clean. They couldn't hand me to her fast enough."

She explained in the post that she loves her life in Germany, the culture, and the people. She also said she felt more at home in Germany than she ever did in Korea. She said moving made her finally embrace her German side and stop "trying to be Korean."

u/Aggressive-Duty6000 also explained that her 12-year-old sister recently died.

"I can't say I'm sad about it, as all my siblings participated in my mistreatment so I never had a bond with them," the post read. "Since she was the only girl and my stepmom can't have more kids my grandparents and dad have been trying to reach out to me. They convinced my mom to send me there to visit for the holidays."

She explained in the post that when she arrived in Korea, her family was "shocked" to see her blond hair, blue eyes, and piercings. She also said she only spoke German or English, refusing to speak Korean.

"This morning my grandparents said how sad they are to see me turn my back on my culture," the post read. "I exploded at them, cussing them out. I told them if they hadn't bullied me my whole life maybe I would be closer to my Korean culture. I said they don't get a do-over because my sister died."

She also said she said a lot of "nasty" things to her dad also, and that her grandparents started crying and her dad had tears in his eyes. She said she felt bad and that she was "shocked" because she had never seen them so sad.

In the comments, many users came to u/Aggressive-Duty6000's defense and said it was not okay for her grandparents to treat her the way they did when she was growing up.

"NTA, you hit the nail on the head. They don't get to abuse you and exclude you from Korean culture for years and suddenly use you as a backup granddaughter now," one user wrote and received more than 18,900 votes

"Backup granddaughter," u/Aggressive-Duty6000 replied in the comments. "Pretty much what it is. You know they never once reached out to me when I left? Not 1 text from them or dad."

But others in the comments mentioned they believed the story was "pure fiction" and wondered how u/Aggressive-Duty6000 spoke fluent English if she claimed she grew up in rural Korea. Others also commented on her blue eyes and said the story didn't seem to add up.

The post was also recently removed by the forum's moderators, but the reason is unknown.