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The internet is rallying around a woman in full support of her plight after she told her mother that her child isn't her "do-over baby."
The Reddit post, shared on the subreddit "Am I The A**hole," is titled, "AITA for telling my mom 'My child isn't your do over baby,'" has been upvoted 9,600 times since it was shared on March 5.
The situation was recounted by u/Mhrr1969, who is a 26-year-old female whose mother is 50. The two have been "fighting over whose role is what when it comes to raising" the original poster's (OP) son, who is 5.
The woman lives with her mother, and when the OP was 3 years old, the Department of Human Services took her and her brother away from their mother, who didn't get custody back until the OP was 15. Her mother also had another child that she put up for adoption before the baby was born.
In a comment, the Redditor revealed she had to move back in with her mom because of lawyer fees. However, she said she is the one who pays for the food, the mortgage, utilities, and other things, which is why she can't move out just yet.
According to Statista, as of 2021, 3.08 million children were living in a household that included a grandmother and a grandfather. Approximately 3.724 million children lived with a grandmother in the household as of that same year.
The Redditor continued: "Fast forward to now, my son is in the middle of a tug of war between me and my mom. She buys tickets for concerts and events to go to with my son and never tells me till the day of. I'm never invited to go either. She will override everything I say and doesn't care about my parenting choices. She insists he's only allowed to watch 90s cartoons and movies."
The OP relayed that she "snapped" when her mother tried to take her son's Minecraft hoodie and throw it away. She claimed her mother said, "'It's trash, and my child wouldn't be caught dead wearing it.'"
The Redditor replied back by shouting, "My child is not your do-over baby. He's allowed to like whatever he wants from his own decade. Stop trying to relive your parenting time with your grandson. You had three chances to raise a child but never stepped up to the plate. Now start acting like a grandmother and not a mother before I move across the country and treat you like a holiday relative."
People were in full support of the Redditor's predicament with her mother over her son. Although not everyone agreed, most believe the OP isn't the a**hole in the situation.
One comment received over 13,000 upvotes on its own, and the Redditor doesn't believe the OP is in the wrong. They urge the woman to distance herself from her mother.
"If you have to 'move across the country and treat you like a holiday relative,' do so," they added. "Your son is 5 now. If you don't get this situation under control soon, you're going to lose control of his behavior and all the fun stuff that entails."
Another Redditor didn't think the OP is the one at fault. However, she needed to set some boundaries according to the user, telling her to also limit the excursions with her son and his grandmother.
"You want to have fun times with your kid too," the user added. "Not just do the hard slog. Sure, it's not nice to bring up your mom's past. But it's also not nice to have to have lived that past by a neglectful parent. So, you get a full pass to say what you like and set boundaries."
Another person thought the grandmother has "unhealthy and distorted ideas of her relationships, both with you and your child. I would end any unsupervised visits and limit supervised ones until mom does some intensive therapy."
One Redditor thought the OP needed to distance her son from her mother. "She's doing so much damage," they added. "Imagine what she says to him when they're alone. Omg."
Another user thought the boy likes his hoodie, and his grandmother called it "trash," which they believe is "messed up."
"She's his grandmother, why won't she accept that?" they inquired. "Grandparents give you ice cream before dinner when you spend the night at their house, they don't take their grandchildren to concerts at the last minute without permission."
Newsweek reached out to u/Mhrr1969 for comment.
