Spouse Embarrassing Brother-in-Law's Wife at Family Dinner Cheered

A debate erupted on the internet after a woman shared the controversial reasons behind a feud she's having with her brother-in-law's new wife, Hannah. The two women clashed at a family dinner party shortly after meeting for the first time a few months earlier.

The woman revealed on Reddit that she had unintentionally angered her brother-in-law's wife by correcting her on an error in her medical judgment.

The woman shared in the online post that she is a registered nurse and social worker with sound knowledge in bipolar disorder, having been diagnosed with the condition herself. The nurse detailed that her new relative became disgruntled with her after feeling she had been upstaged and humiliated after getting schooled in some truths about bipolar disorder.

According to the U.K.'s National Health Service, bipolar disorder is a mental health condition that affects an individual's moods. The condition used to be known as manic depression.

The Reddit post by @Numerous_Life_399 explained that her husband's younger brother had eloped with Hannah months earlier.

"None of us knew her, not that it mattered," the nurse said in the post. "We just met her for the first time a few months ago. She seemed pleasant, a bit shy, and a bit rough around the edges.

"We found out a short few weeks later that she has bipolar and that she is unmedicated."

The post then detailed how the conflict between the pair, which led to the nurse calling on the internet to judge her behavior, came about.

The pair and their other halves were brought together at a recent family dinner party, leading to the deterioration of their relationship.

The Reddit post revealed: "We got to chatting at the dinner table about her diagnosis. She brought it up, not me. She became angry, over nothing and started saying stuff like 'it absolutely f****** repulses me that people without bipolar try claiming they are manic when mania is strictly a bipolar thing.'"

The nurse explained that in context she hadn't been rude toward Hannah but that she did go on to "correct" her statement about the mental health condition.

"I said 'actually mania comes in all forms and is not limited to bipolar disorders. Even people with brain tumors have been known to have manic episodes,'" she wrote.

The nurse's account chronicles that Hannah immediately became defensive and argued that the nurse was just trying to "one up" her.

"[She said that] her doctor told her that it was strictly a bipolar thing," the post detailed.

The nurse even got her husband involved in the tense conversation and pulled up her medical e-book to further solidify to Hannah that she's incorrect about the condition.

After having her claims shut down, Hannah quickly became more upset.

"She refused to read [the e-book]," the post continued.

"I just turned to my husband and said 'you're a doctor, what causes manic episodes', he starts listing off multiple things, including manic depressive episodes, seasonal affective disorder, postpartum psychosis or schizoaffective disorder. Well Hannah was p*****," the nurse had added.

She went on to write that Hannah began crying and started claiming that she had been publicly embarrassed on purpose for no reason.

The complicated dilemma between two bipolar sufferers who each claim to be right in their contrasting views of the condition has received plenty of attention online, garnering 1,800 comments after being posted to the social media platform on January 17.

How To Politely Correct Someone

Ruth E. Freeman is the founder of Peace At Home Parenting Solutions, a digital education program.

"Unsolicited advice is a common mistake we make with people we love and/or care about," she told Newsweek. "It is really a violation and can have all kinds of negative effects like the recipient feeling judged or inadequate or just, paradoxically, unloved."

She added that if we really want to help others, learning to listen to their experience with care and responding only with compassion and understanding is the best path to help them feel supported.

"If you think you have some knowledge or suggestions to impart, do so with great care, wait for the right moment and always start with something like, 'I have some thoughts about your struggle. Would it be helpful if I share those?'" Freeman added. "And if the person expresses interest, you want to share your knowledge gently and tentatively—not like an expert doling out a diagnosis.

"[Statements like] 'my understanding about that condition is this...' or 'I've read that...' always leave room for the person to see it another way and to stay connected. The presence of a loved one has a healing impact on most human problems, but not when it includes unsolicited advice."

Maria Venetis is an associate professor of communication at Rutgers University.

"When communicating with someone, how we approach what we want to say is often far more important than the message itself," Venetis told Newsweek. "Any given message reflects the goal that you want to accomplish, your and the other person's identity needs, and your relationship with the other person."

When questioned on the family dispute being picked apart on Reddit, Venetis said: "Actions like correcting someone, particularly in public, can be seen as very threatening. It suggests that the person doing the correcting knows more and knows better than the other person. It also suggests that at the moment of correcting, the situation does not require politeness."

Venetis went on to advise that when seeking to correct another person, people must be wary of relational consequences. This means that some specific types of relationships, like a teacher-student relationship or a parent-child relationship, can welcome "correcting" more easily and without consequences.

"Without such a relational caveat, correcting another person, especially in public, signals disrespect, being impolite, or a lack of conservational know-how," Venetis said. "Thus, not only is it offensive to the other person, but it can make you look bad, too."

According to the professor, if it is important enough to an individual to correct someone, they should think about how they would like to receive that information if someone were correcting them.

Venetis added that people could consider prefacing their difficult conversations with how they'd want the other person to help them, too.

"This way you can accomplish the goal of correcting the mistake, demonstrate that you are a thoughtful and caring person, and show that your relationship with the other person is valued," Venetis concluded.

Newsweek could not verify the details of this case.