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Members of a popular internet forum were stunned after one woman explained how her brother's vacation resulted in an unwanted encounter with a former lover.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/bluebird249 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said she was spending some time alone at her parents' second home when her brother arrived unannounced with a group of friends, including her ex-fiancé.
Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for locking my brother and his friends out of our vacation home?" the post has received nearly 6,000 votes and 600 comments in the last day.
Writing that her engagement was called off two months ago, the original poster said she retreated to the vacation home to simply get away, but was recently disturbed when the group of men arrived without notice.
"My brother and his friends, including my ex-fiancé, showed up unexpectedly a few days ago," OP wrote. "I told them to leave but my brother made an excuse about it being late and them having nowhere to go so I agreed they could stay for one night."
"They all took that as a [green light] to enjoy the boys' trip they had planned," OP added.
The original poster said she requested her brother and his friends leave the home numerous times, but was largely ignored before a flimsy compromise was put in place.
"I asked my brother to leave repeatedly but he wouldn't listen and his only compromise was that they wouldn't come in the office area, which is where I spend most of my time," OP wrote.
"I was angry and upset, and the anger kept building," OP continued. "Eventually when they all left the house, I decided to lock the doors from the inside so they couldn't get back in, even with the key."
"When they kept knocking, I ignored them and my brother's phone calls," OP added. "When I did eventually answer my brother, he was furious and we had a huge fight because I wouldn't agree to let them come back."
While the occasional interaction with an ex is awkward enough, being subject to continued contact because of a sibling's relationship with them is a whole different ball game.
Although common sense would indicate that keeping an ex's family member as a close ally could pose obvious issues, namely involving their loyalty to your ex, some experts argue that close friendships are rare and should be valued, regardless of their proximity to a failed relationship.
"The time that you invest into your partner and their personal lives and relationships can feel hard to let go of once things have started to crumble," relationship experts told Insider. "That doesn't mean, however, that you have to let go of the relationship you've built with your former significant other's family and friends."
Unfortunately for many, connections with an ex's family or friends are easily poisoned by remnants of the relationship that made those friendships possible in the first place.
In a 2020 article published by the Anchorage Daily News, tandem advice columnists Wayne and Wanda addressed a woman who said she wished to remain close friends with her ex-boyfriend's sister, and offered opposite advice.
Wanda made it simple, telling the woman that any relationship with an ex's sibling will be lopsided due to familial bonds. Wayne disagreed, and advised the woman to hold onto her friendship with the ex's sister, but only under one condition.
"I support and even encourage you to maintain this one if you can do so under a single, unbreakable condition: it never involves or revolves around the ex/brother," Wayne wrote. "No sneering at him and whoever he's cuddled up with when you all cross paths."
"No positioning one another to make him feel uncomfortable. No comparing notes on what he's been up to when he's not around," he continued. "In fact, no talking about or dedicating any energy to him at all. Period."
In her viral post, u/bluebird249 said her time at the vacation home was intended to eliminate any energy dedicated to the end of her engagement but that her brother, and his friendship with her ex-fiancé, made that impossible.
Throughout the viral post's comment section, Redditors supported the original poster for kicking the men out of her space and slammed her brother for bringing her ex-fiancé along with him.
"Your brother took your ex fiancé?? What the f***??," Redditor u/1egdj5bm exclaimed in the post's top comment, which has received nearly 10,000 votes. "Of course you are [not the a**hole]!!! Everyone else [is] the a**hole"
"Even if your brother is best friend[s] with your ex, he needs to respect your boundary that you don't want to see or [be] near your ex," Redditor u/omegavision1 added, receiving nearly 2,000 votes. "Huge lack of respect on his part to bring your ex."
Redditor u/RosexKx, whose comment has received more than 2,600 votes, offered a similar response.
"Your brother brought your ex-fiancé to his boys' party weekend at your family vacation house when you were staying there nursing a broken heart???" they questioned. "Has he always been such an a**?"
"Your brother is an entitled [a**hole] and a complete d**k for showing up with your ex," Redditor u/PaganBlues672 chimed in.
About the writer
Taylor McCloud is a Newsweek staff writer based in California. His focus is reporting on trending and viral topics. Taylor ... Read more