Spouse Raging Over 'Intrusive and Demanding' Mother-in-Law Divides Opinion

A recent social-media post about an elderly mother-in-law being too intrusive has gone viral, dividing the internet's opinion on whether or not it's fair for old people to behave in a certain way.

In a post shared on Mumsnet last Thursday, a woman who goes by the username Safarigiraffe, asked if she was being unreasonable for wanting a break from her 85-year-old mother-in-law, who just won't stop calling her and her family.

In the post, she said: "She phones us 4-5 times during the week after work (we get home 6:30 roughly) Weekends are the [worst] constantly phoning us during the day & if we are not in she will phone [dear husband] mobile to see where we are/what we are doing.

"During the week when we are at work she constantly phones/leaves messages for [dear son] 21 & [dear daughter] 18 sometimes they are busy with work, college/Uni or with friends it's so exhausting it's unreal," she continued.

She then went on to say that her mother-in-law is very intrusive and asks loads of questions regarding where they are and what they do, and that she spoke to her husband about the issue, but he has no problem with it.

According to data by the World Population Review, the United States has the sixth-highest divorce rate in the world, with about 50 percent of first-time married couples divorcing. Subsequent marriages have an even higher divorce rate, with 60 percent for second marriages, and 73% for third marriages.

Reasons for Getting Divorced

A U.S. Census Bureau survey, shows that about 43 percent of American divorces are due to incompatibility, while in the second place, 28 percent of them are due to infidelity, and 22 percent money issues.

This post really divided the internet, with some people holding the mother-in-law accountable, and others believing that because she's an old lady she's just allowed to behave however she pleases, and that the poster should just put up with her.

One user, HSKAT, said: "She's lonely. Do you go to see her?" While another user, bluejelly commented: "It is totally excessive. I would stop answering the phone."

"She probably feels like no one cares about her," said babyjellyfish.

iRun2eatCake suggested: "Is it your mobile she phones? If so block. If it's the landline, let it go to answerphone." And bluejelly answered: "Tell her you are too busy/exhausted and can only speak twice a week. Then stick to it (unless there's an emergency)."

Campervangirl commented: "Yep, she's lonely. My [dear mother] (84) has just died, I'd give anything to talk to her again. Us old folk are annoying but we just need our families and to feel loved. Remember that inside that 80+ year old body is the young girl she was, full of love and feelings."

Another user, ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor, wrote: "I agree with others that she's lonely but that doesn't excuse the demanding and being obtrusive. Is it always the same conversation when she calls? If so I would answer but politely cut her off and say you will see her on Sunday as usual."

Other users suggested they get her checked as she may be suffering conditions due to old age like dementia or Alzheimer's. ZekeZeke commented: "Could she have Alzheimer's? How is her memory in general?" And oldestmumaintheworld said: "It sounds like it might be dementia taking hold. I would suggest your husband talks to his Dad about this behaviour and advise a visit to the GP."

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy commented: "Don't answer the phone and let your DH deal with it. Job solved." While Hadjab answered: "She's 85, for God's sake, she's likely not going to be here for much longer. I do hope you don't find your kids treating you the same way when you get to her age..."

Some users, seemed to have missed the part where the poster explained how many times a week her mother-in-law calls. Ffsmakeitstop said: "You all sound pretty mean to be honest. It wouldn"t kill your kids to speak to their gran a couple of times a week. It's not a crime to ask family inane questions she just wants to connect with you all. Let's hope your kids still want to bother with you when your old."

Feelingoktoday said: "She is 85. Ffs. Is she lonely? Poor lady." While Shehasadiamondinthesky answered: "Ridiculous. I don't treat [dear son] and DiL [daughter in law] like this. They have their own lives to live."

And PomRuns wrote: "It's very entitled behavior and selfish. Why should OP and her DC give in to this behavior. A phone call and visit weekly is more than enough, maybe speak on different days so it breaks the week up a bit for her. I honestly wouldn't expect my children to speak several times a day and harass them by calling multiple times."