Man Backed For Choosing To Spend Thanksgiving Without Entire Family

A man who chose to have a small Thanksgiving with just his wife was backed by Reddit users, despite receiving backlash from other family members.

u/vovom explained in his post, which garnered nearly 10,000 interactions since it was published on Monday, that he is often given a difficult time for not pursuing a long-term career with the United States Marine Corps like the rest of his family.

He decided to tell his mother that he and his wife will stay home to celebrate the holiday alone.

Insight From An Expert

Daryl Van Tongeren, an associate professor of psychology at Hope College, told Newsweek that when someone sets boundaries, they are thinking of what they and the people they love need in a difficult situation.

In setting those boundaries, Van Tongeren said u/vovom is working on affirming and reassuring himself for his life decisions because he is not getting that from his family.

"When we shift from needing to get validation from external contingencies, we're free to live a life free of others' approval," he said.

In some cases, creating distance is needed for someone to ensure they are having their emotional and psychological needs met. Eventually, if the involved parties feel safe to do so, they can come together to have a productive conversation.

AITA?

In his post, u/vovom said he comes from a family in which most men join the Marines upon graduating from high school which developed into long-term careers with the organization.

"I joined straight out of high school, did my time and did not re-enlist," he said. "Instead I went to school and got a good job in a hospital that supports my wife and [me]. I'm happy with my life but whenever I see my family they always like to talk about how I gave up on the military for an easy life, how my cousins made it through and are still in."

u/vovom said he's told his family that the career path may work for his cousins, but he noted they are often deployed and rarely see their families. He said he enjoys coming home to his wife every day.

Frustrated, u/vovom said he told his mother that he and his wife will do Thanksgiving together at their own house.

"She's upset and calling me immature saying they are just kidding and I'm too sensitive, but I'm sick of getting put down every holiday and family get-together for choosing a different life path than them," he said, concluding the post.

Reddit Reacts

Reddit users were quick to jump to u/vovom's defense in the comments section.

"If you're the one who is supposedly 'too sensitive' why are they the ones all upset over you spending thanksgiving with your immediate family instead of them," a Redditor asked.

"Setting boundaries is mature," another Reddit user wrote. "If they can't be nice to you, they don't deserve your presence at Thanksgiving. It's as simple as that."

"Cutting toxic family events to reduce your stress level so you and your wife can enjoy the holidays is the furthest thing from immature," one Redditor commented.

Newsweek reached out to u/vovom for further comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

Other Reddit users have sought advice when posting on the "Am I the A******" forum.

A man was criticized for giving his mother a key to the house he and his wife live in, despite his wife's objections. One man was backed after he told his sister-in-law that he never liked her following an uncomfortable encounter. A woman was supported when she refused to give her stepsister money for a deposit on a house.