Man Backed for Retracting His Sister's Wedding Invite Over Her One Demand

A young man who's soon getting married has divided opinions on the Internet after refusing to invite his sisters to his wedding.

In a post shared on Reddit earlier in July, under the username u/Total-Ingenious10, the soon-to-be groom explained that his parents divorced when he was a teenager and while he decided to live with his dad over his mom, his sisters went back and forth between the parents until they ended up staying with their mom. Since then, their relationship has been going south.

Family estrangement is quite common in the United States. A poll of over 11,000 Americans conducted in October by YouGov, found that more than one in four Americans are estranged from an immediate family member, including siblings, parents, children, or grandparents.

Now that he's getting married, the poster has refused to invite his mom, asking his new stepmom, whom he adores, to fill in her shoes. He did, however, invite his sisters.

He wrote: "My younger sister isn't coming because I did not invite my mom and instead have my stepmom involved and I'm happy with that. My older sister pretends to be this big family person on social media so I think for appearances she was going to come.

"After I sent the invite she called and said it wasn't right to phase our mom out considering her side of the family will be there. I said I didn't ask her advice on the guest list. She said in solidarity with our other sister and our mother she isn't coming. I said great. That was a month ago."

Then, suddenly, he received a call from his older sister's husband, whom he's never met as he did not attend their wedding due to family tensions over the relationship with their mom. The poster's brother-in-law called him to say his wife had changed her mind and wanted to attend the wedding.

"He said she was trying to force something and that was wrong and she wanted to attend. I said it was too late as the offer had been rescinded. He said that family was important and it would be a good step.

"I asked who the hell he even was... as I've never even met him. He said my sister is too proud to call so he did it for her. I said it was too bad her ego was that big that she'd allow her husband do her dirty work so there was no invite. My fiancé heard most of the convo and said I was being an [a******] to him, even if my sister was toxic."

Evan D. Schein, head of litigation at Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein, based in New York City, told Newsweek that the soon-to-be groom needs to think long and hard about his decision to leave an immediate family member off the wedding invite list.

He said: "This is one of those decisions that will have a long-lasting impact on him and his entire family. While the soon-to-be groom may feel justified right now and have his reasons when it comes to his decision to not extend a wedding invite to an immediate family member, this is one of those decisions he may regret forever.

"Years later, when he is looking through wedding albums and pictures of the special day, there is likely to be some regret about not inviting an immediate family member. This is on top of the short-term and long-term strain this decision will have on his family and the family relationships."

According to Schein, this decision may cause family members to take sides in the family feud and pin family members against one another.

"The icing on the cake is that the soon-to-be groom's fiance' has apparently had enough of his behavior and the wedding list snub is causing an issue between them," he said.

The post quickly went viral on social media, getting viewers from across Reddit. It has so far received over 9,300 upvotes and 2,200 comments on the platform.

One user, urbanworldbuilder, commented: "[Everyone S**** Here]. You almost weren't, but childish insults at the end questioning BIL's manhood for trying to mend bridges? Come on now. Just tell him, 'My decision is final, please don't call back.' And hang up.

"Also your sister didn't threaten you by the description, so no need to be overly dramatic. "Invite mom or I'll cause a scene" [is] a threat. "Invite mom or I'm not going" [is] an ultimatum. The difference is one is proposing retaliatory action, the other is them just saying they'll remove themselves from the situation."

And extinct_diplodocus said: "Jessica issued an ultimatum: invite mom or I won't come. Op declined the condition and uninvited Jessica. Later, Jessica tried to undo the ultimatum [by] having her husband call. Op declined to accept the undo. Op didn't reject the undo in a gentle way, but Op had no obligation to pretend the ultimatum wasn't issued. Op also had no obligation to allow the undo. Op is [Not The A******]."

One user wrote: "[You're The A******]. Specifically for how you treated your [brother-in-law]. You said yourself you hadn't met him, you don't know him but you treated him like shit when he was nothing but polite and trying to create a bridge. If you really think they wanted a free meal, you're ridiculous.

"Your sister asked your BIL to call and was trying to save a little face, she wanted to be there for you and yeah, she was an asshole and tried to manipulate to include your mother, okay, family do dumb things, she was extending a branch through her BIL because she's embarrassed and you for no apparent reason took a flamethrower to that branch while acting like a child. You could have just said no, not thrown names, and left it open for the future but instead were unnecessarily mean."

Newsweek reached out to u/Total-Ingenious10 for comment via Reddit chat. We could not verify the details of the case.

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