Man Bashed for 'Ruining' Date Night with Girlfriend: 'Poor Woman'

Commenters in a popular internet forum criticized a man for "ruining" a date with his girlfriend who recently lost her grandmother.

The Original Poster (OP), known as u/concertTAhole, posted about the date in Reddit's "Am I The A******" forum where it received nearly 8,000 upvotes and 3,100 comments. The post can be found here.

Compromises in Relationships

Martha Teater, LMFT, told Newsweek that it is "gracious" for someone in a relationship to occasionally join their partner at various events or festivities––even if they do not share the same interests.

"This works well if the less interested person can do this willingly and with some measure of good cheer," Teater said. "This is something that can work well when done with a generous spirit and with the goal of experiencing something the other person enjoys. If you can't do it with joy, don't do it at all."

As Teater explained, it is oftentimes better to avoid a situation than try to "tolerate" a date night with a significant other. A good compromise is to put a smile on their face and enjoy the date, regardless if they are individually excited about the activity.

"Compromise is often a challenge but becomes easier when you truly care about the other person," Teater said. "That's when sacrifice becomes a way to demonstrate how much you care for your partner, and, hopefully, those caring compromises flow both ways."

'AITA?'

In the post titled "AITA for 'tolerating' a night out with my girlfriend?" the 36-year-old OP said he recently gifted his girlfriend, 33, tickets to a concert she wanted to attend.

Although the OP said he is not a fan of her music taste, he said he got the concert tickets as a gift. He added that he purchased the VIP package––which included a meet and greet––and pictures with the band.

"Last week my girlfriend began asking if we had to get to the venue early," the post read. "Being the thorough, detailed person that she is, I assured her I would check. Instead, I was too busy with work."

The OP said his girlfriend asking for information every few days was getting "a bit annoying."

On the day of the concert, the woman told the OP that the only information she could find online was that doors opened for the venue at 7 p.m.

But when they arrived at the venue, the security guard let them know that the VIP meet and greet was at 6 p.m.

"I froze, now my girlfriend turns to me asking if I received any kind of emails (the tickets were in my name)," the posts read. "I told her that I deleted emails and she seemed to understand..."

He went on to say he "actually really enjoyed" the show, "so once her band's set ended, we decided to not stay for the last band. And this is where the trouble began."

'You Don't Go Out In The City'

After the concert ended at 10 p.m., the OP's girlfriend suggested that they go to a bar a block away from the venue.

"Immediately I said there was not a chance. She mentioned that my car was in a secured lot and we wouldn't be far, but I lost my cool," the post read. "Which I admit was NOT the best way to go about things, and told her, 'You don't go out in the city. There is crime all over the place!' She responded that we were in the city."

The OP started saying how he "can't stand" the city and she replied that they should just leave.

"She was silent on the way back and I suggest that we go back to my place to finish out the night and she refused," the post read. "This also pissed me off because I asked what was wrong with the bar next to my apartment and she shut that down with her short responses."

The OP said the night cost him more than $300 and that his girlfriend has been distant since Friday. She told him that she was okay not going to the meet and greet but that the way the date turned out later was when the "disappointment truly set in."

"My response was that I was only bringing her to the concert, nowhere else, and thinking of her safety," the post read. "She continued that I shouldn't have bought the tickets if I was only 'tolerating doing so."

The OP said he "accepts" that he made mistakes, particularly missing the meet and greet, but said the date should have been an "unforgettable experience," especially since her grandmother just died.

Redditor Reactions

More than 3,100 users commented on the post, many criticizing the OP for ruining the date with his attitude.

"YTA. You deliberately deleted emails despite knowing she wanted to be sure of the details because you found it annoying that she asked," one person said. "As a result she missed what was almost certainly the main part of the gift for her...This isn't about you tolerating the night out, it's about you ruining it."

"Don't forget his petulance wasn't actually about her not wanting to go to the bar near OP's apartment, but that she didn't want to 'finish out the night,'" another said. "In other words, OP was upset that he dropped $300 and wasn't rewarded with sex."

"OP, YTA and a horrible partner based on this incident. People generally portray themselves in the best possible light," another commented. "For you to clearly be a MASSIVE AH, I wonder how awful your actual behavior was. I feel sorry for your girlfriend."

"Jesus christ this is the clearest YTA I've ever read. Poor woman," one user said. "You took her out for her birthday, made her miss the best part of it & then refused to take her out after?"

"YTA you don't make someone think they're going out to have a good time just to s*** all over it," another commented. "Killing the vibe ruins the whole night and it sounds like you probably do this a lot."

Newsweek reached out to u/concertTAhole for comment.

Other Viral Posts

In another viral post, a woman was criticized for getting upset with her boyfriend after he refused to share his food with her. Another woman was bashed for "forgetting" to feed her boyfriend's daughter.

In one post, a man was supported for "ruining" his brother's life on his wedding day.