Man Backed for Breaking Up With Partner Over His 'Judgmental' Mom

The internet has backed a man who ended a relationship with his boyfriend because of how much he hated his family.

In a post on Reddit's popular r/AmITheA**hole forum, user u/Ok-Extension238 shared how he hates his boyfriend's family and wrote: "I can't stand them, they are the most condescending, judgmental a**holes I have ever had the displeasure of knowing."

Social psychologist Terri Orbuch studied 373 married couples for a 26-year longitudinal study into marriage. Results found that those who felt close to their spouse's parents at the time of marriage were 20 percent less likely to get a divorce in the next 16 years than those who did not.

The study showed that despite people not always having great relationships with their partner's parents, having a good relationship with the in-laws can be an important part of a successful relationship.

While not married, the man shared with Reddit users how his partner's parents were making him miserable. He explained that they talk about his looks, weight, and job and said: "It has gotten to the point where I'm dreading every birthday, Christmas, or any other celebration because I have to see them again. My boyfriend has told them to stop but they always say that I'm so sensitive and need to relax."

The situation was made worse still when his partner's mom got into an accident and had to go to the hospital where the poster works as a trainee doctor.

"My boyfriend told me to help her and make sure she gets the best care," explained the Redditor. "I told my coworkers and they assured me that I can't be on her case and that I wouldn't need to be near her at all. My boyfriend and his family begged me that I should visit her and make sure she is ok on my break and I refused. I said I'd rather be alone in my apartment and suffer than to visit his mom. I can't f***ing stand that woman."

As replies rolled in on the Reddit post, users rushed to share their thoughts. One commenter said: "His family sounds awful and I don't blame you." While another reply read: "You laid down that you needed boundaries between you and his family, he isn't going along with that. It's time to break up."

The poster is far from alone in struggling with his partner's family, in a 2017 survey by British law firm Slater & Gordon, over 50 percent of married couples blamed their in-laws for arguments with their other half, while one in five said that they would file for divorce from their partner's parents if it was possible.

Following the initial post, u/Ok-Extension238 shared an update 24 days later. After thanking everyone for the kind words and support, he updated on the situation. "His mom was fine, she was not in any danger at all," he said. "My colleagues told me how much s*** she talked about me and how much better he could do than some wannabe doctor."

Hearing the harsh words that his boyfriend's mother had continued to say about him, the poster explained he was furious and so went to see her and demanded to know what her issue was.

"She didn't like me because I'm, in her words, 'too masculine' to be with her son and he needs to find someone that's not," explained the poster.

"I told my boyfriend and he was mad at first but kind of agreed with her and told me it wouldn't hurt me to try being less masculine. All I said was that if he's trying to make me change who I am, then there is no reason to be with me anymore."

After further conversation and arguments, including asking his boyfriend to reduce his contact with his mother after her actions, the couple made the choice to break up.

"Tbh, I'm not even heartbroken," said the poster. "I have my job, good friends, and a family that loves me. In the end, I'm happy, I think it's for the better."

After sharing the update, the Redditor was flooded with more comments praising his decision to call off the relationship.

One reply said: "You saved yourself from a lifetime of abuse and stress. Let him try to find someone better. His mother won't approve of anyone. I know you can do much better than that toxic family."

Another commenter wrote: "It's always nice to see a positive update! He didn't deserve you."

Newsweek has reached out to u/Ok-Extension238 for comment. We were unable to verify the details of this case.