Man Dragged for Telling Partner She Lives 'Too Close' to Daughter's Father

The internet was quick to call out one man who told his partner to move away from her 11-year-old daughter and ex-husband.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/LowGeologist8082 wrote that she and her daughter's father live separately, but in attached homes, and detailed her current boyfriend's complaints with the close proximity.

Titled, "AITA for being 'too close' to my Ex-Husband?," the post has received 10.5K votes and nearly 2,000 comments

Explaining that she and her ex were divorced six years ago, the Redditor said the split was amicable, and that the couple used the money from the sale of their shared home to purchase a pair of next-door residences.

"Neither of us wanted to lose full custody of her or miss important moments in her life, she is the most important person in both our lives," she wrote. "When we sold our house we used the money to buy two semi detached houses that were joined and had a door installed between them."

"She has two bedrooms, one in each house and every day she can pick where she wants to have breakfast, dinner and sleep," she continued. "I won't lie it was awkward at first, but for her sake we made it work and even regained a lot of the friendship we had lost, though it [is] of course strictly platonic now."

u/LowGeologist8082 added that both she and her ex-husband have begun relationships with new partners, and that her boyfriend had tolerated her living arrangement—until recently.

"We've been discussing moving in together and he has made it clear he wants me to move as he doesn't want to live next door to my ex-husband," the Redditor wrote. "I understood that but told him that wouldn't be happening as my daughter had to come first."

"He got upset with me and asked me how he was supposed to be a father to my daughter when she already had a dad [who] was literally a wall away," she continued. "He told me if I loved him I'd move for him."

Divorce can increase the risk of mental health problems in children and adolescents, according to Very Well Family, an online resource for parenting information.

Across ages, genders and cultures, children of divorced parents are likely to experience "increased psychological problems."

And while negative psychological effects of divorce in children are sometimes resolved in the matter of months, Very Well Family reports that rates of depression and anxiety are higher in children with divorced parents.

However, many co-parenting techniques take potential mental health disorders into account, and aim to create a safe and secure environment for children to grow up in, despite parental separation.

Enacting practices that benefit, and prioritize children, can help separated parents successfully co-parent without many of the risks (and detriments) that have long been associated with divorce.

"Children do best when both parents have a stable and meaningful involvement in their children's lives," the Massachusetts Association of Family and Conciliation Courts website reads. "Communication and cooperation between parents are important in arranging children's activities. Consistent rules and values in both households create a sense of security for children of any age."

In many cases, children of divorce travel back-and-forth between homes on a court-decided schedule. In some cases, like the one described in the viral Reddit post, divorced parents choose to live near each other to ensure healthy relationships and a high level of stability.

Though unconventional, living in nearby homes allows for parents to be present during the smallest of moments, and the most urgent of emergencies.

"Living close to an ex you get along with can ease any number of logistical and emotional complications that arise with co-parenting," divorce wellness website Splitopia maintains. "Living far can lead to missing out. Some adult children of divorce say that having one parent live far away felt like it prevented them from really bonding."

Responding to her original Reddit post, commenters commended u/LowGeologist8082's commitment to co-parenting and slammed her boyfriend for insisting that she move away from her daughter and ex-husband.

In the post's top comment, which has received 16K votes, Redditor u/lalafia1 said the original poster was prioritizing her child, and that her boyfriend's inability to to understand that could lead to long-term consequences.

"Sounds like you very clearly explained how things work in your world," they commented. "Kudos for coming up with a unique parenting method that puts your daughter firmly as the most cherished outcome of your previous relationship."

"Your new [boyfriend] may not be compatible with your uniquely blended family," they added. "[Bit] of a red flag that he wants to appropriate the title of father, good on your for nipping that in the bud."

Redditor u/mcmurrml, whose comment has received 4.4K votes, speculated that the original poster's boyfriend will never change his opinion on the unconventional living situation, and encouraged her to terminate the relationship.

"Do him a favor and break up with him. He isn't going to be happy," they commented. "There is no way to compromise here. You aren't budging so break up with this guy and let him go."

"You've found a way to put your child first and do what works best for her. It may be awkward for some people to understand, but that's their problem," Redditor u/rangerman2002 added. "Your boyfriend knew what he was getting into from the beginning."

Newsweek reached out to the Massachusetts Association of Family and Conciliation Courts for comment.