Woman Earning Quarter of Boyfriend's Salary Backed for Refusing 3 Vacations

A user has asked Mumsnet if she is being unreasonable after pointing out that she earns a lot less than her partner and is struggling to keep up with his lifestyle.

In the post, Jessiejines writes that the couple have been together for five years and recently bought a house together, though her "partner earns around $97,000. I earn around $24,000", she explains.

Key findings from personal finance advice site The Ascent included that the national average U.S income in 2021 was $97,962, and the median male salary in 2021 was $50,391, 27 percent higher that the median female one, $36,726.

The poster wrote that buying the house "highlighted to me how poor I am compared to him", and that the Christmas period and buying presents stress her out.

Finding herself "living pay check to pay check," she also posted that her partner is planning three holidays in 2023.

"I just can't afford this but he keeps telling me I can. I tell him the average person would not go on 3 holidays so we don't need to," before the Mumsnet user added, "It's all keeping me up at night".

Houston-based psychiatrist Faisal Tai told Newsweek about financial imbalances in relationships.

"The power balance in marriages and relationships can be a constant source of stress and anxiety since most people want to have a fair say in the important decisions made in their lives," Tai said.

"And when there is a financial inequality, it can even threaten the very foundation of a relationship. In fact, American Psychological Association research shows that finances are a major source of conflict in one-third of all partnerships.

"The most advisable way to deal with this sort of stress is to have open and non-judgmental communication between partners in which decisions are made in a logical and even-handed manner," Tai added.

"If things get heated in these conversations, then taking a break is highly advisable. In addition, couples should consider developing a spending plan that incorporates goals of importance to both members. And therapists can play a very constructive role in these types of conversations, so their involvement is highly recommended for certain couples."

Mumsnet users were supportive in the comments, and the original poster later commented: "I'm so glad I've got all this off my chest. I honestly thought this was all Christmas anxiety but this thread has made me realize it's not Christmas anxiety but me feeling pressured to live above my means."

HotPotato787 wrote: "You're not boring, and he's being massively unreasonable if he expects you to be able to match his spending when your income is only a quarter of his!"

Mumsnet user Pantst commented: "Why on earth is it split like that when he earns 4 times what you do?"

"I'm sorry, but that's a really unfair split even if you 'never expect him to pay' for you," UmbilicusProfundus posted. "Has he (seriously) offered to pay more and you have declined?"

Newsweek has not been able to verify the details of the case.